Loose Leaf Notes

This is not a sewing bee.

Nor is it a bridge club.

It’s an overflow meeting of minds, the Scrabble kind, enjoying lunch and crunching letters at Outerspace.

1. This is not what I meant by swimming…

2. Having a year-round indoor pool nearby is #1 on my bucket list.

3. Last week I saw a dead possum in the road that someone had attached a balloon to that said ‘Get Well Soon.

4. I dreamt that my dad read a poem that I loved and that moved me. After, I went up to him and said, ”You haven’t written a poem in so long, daddy.” Crying, I said, “You helped me understand who I am and why I do what I do.”

5. After telling the dream to Joe, I said, “I probably wrote that poem (which I couldn’t remember) since it was my dream. My dad made a cameo appearance and covered it.”

6. I want a pink blow-up raft / to drift carefree / in a body of water I belong to / Not like a stone skipping in and out / that plummets to the bottom when it’s done / I want a pink raft more / than a girl wants a Barbie doll / or a pink poodle skirt of quilted satin…

7. I want to fall softly like a single strand of hair / lands on a mirror and sticks / like the windswept curl / that drops across your cheek / and you lift your finger / to put it back in place / I want you to hold me still / while I lie on my back / and float like a petal / like a baby in a cradle / not left to sink or swim – Read about the Pink Raft Therapy HERE.  

8. Malachy McCourt, the brother of Angela’s Ashes author Frank McCourt, is the author of “A Monk Swims,” the title of which is based on his mishearing of the Catholic prayer, The Hail Mary. As a child, I also misheard a line in that same prayer. If Malachy and I had our way, the Hail Mary would read like this: Hail Mary full of grapes (grace) / The Lord is we thee / Blessed art thou A monk swimming (amongst women)…

9. I dreamt I cut off my ear / the way I casually cut fabric / or slice a potato / which made me ask / what other ways do I self-harm? / What other impulsive act /can’t be taken back? / What don’t I want to hear?

10. Do we lose to win / until we have nothing left to give? / Do we pay down our debt / with parts of our self? / Do we give up our borrowed miracles / while starry night lights go out / while fading sunflowers bow / and our busywork winds down… Read What Would Carl Jung Say in its entirety HERE.

11. Green August ages into rust / Days shrink and summer’s wilt crackles / Burdock burrs fatten and threaten to cling / Fireflies like porch lights shut off.

12. Dreaming: “The ongoing effort of our psyche to balance itself takes over, and the dreams counteract what we have done to imbalance our psychological selves.” Carl Jung

13. “The whole world is a series of miracles but we’re so used to seeing them that we call them ordinary things.” Hans Christian Anderson

_______Thirteen Thursday

I dreamt I cut off my ear
the way I casually cut fabric
or slice a potato
which made me ask
what other ways do I self-harm?
What other impulsive act
can’t be taken back?
What don’t I want to hear?

I saved the evidence
but forgot what it was intended for
so I tucked it into the trash
like a bloody sanitary pad
and hid the shame behind my hair

A gateway to harder partings?
A forgotten deal made?
A card laid on the table?
Does it take a death
to generate interest?

‘The sadness will last forever’
said Vincent Van Gogh
before he died of a wound made visible
a gamble of high stakes

Do we lose to win
until we have nothing left to give?
Do we pay down our debt
with parts of our self?

Do we give up our borrowed miracles
while starry night lights go out
while fading sunflowers bow
and our busywork
winds down?

___________Colleen Redman / Poets and Storytellers United /dVerse Poets Pub

1. I drink a beer every day. But only when I’m  at Floydfest. It’s a five-day festival, so do the math.

2. Floydfest Funhouse or too much IPA?

3. Every day at Floydfest is my favorite. Every picture, every scene and every connection with friends felt cherished and full of history this year because it was the last festival on the 20-year site (new location in Floyd County coming in 2023). Endings are bittersweet and I can’t find a path to the chicken coop for the garden pumpkins and weeds at home. I feel grateful for the past 20 years at Floydfest, a truly magical place, and I’m wishing all the best for all those who will be working hard over this year to create something awesome for 2023… More from The Floydfest Beat Goes On HERE.

4. “Our slogan has always been, ‘Music, Magic, Mountains.’ And this year we’re adding another ‘M’ — ‘Memories,’” says Sam Calhoun, COO of Across the Way Productions, the company behind FloydFest. “With the new location, we really feel like we can capture what we want to do, to ensure the whole community we’ve created together here has more space and amenities for an even better experience moving forward.” According to Calhoun, the current site is 80 acres, whereas the new property is over 200. Calhoun looks at the transition as an opportunity to hit the reset button on the festival following the shutdown of the live music industry during the pandemic. “We’re going to use all of the systems and knowledge we’ve gained over the last 20 years and apply it to this new property,” Calhoun says.” – Story on Floydfest in the Rolling Stone

5. I once had a friend who got divorced after her husband ordered her a coke in a restaurant. She never drank coke and felt it was a major insult that he cared so little about knowing her. The coke was the final straw.

6. Speaking of straws, the first time I got drunk I was a teenager and drank a rum and coke with a straw because it was supposed to make you drunk quicker. I got very sick and rarely drink liquor to this day. So that was a last straw too.

7. I once rode by a house with a series of red towels hanging on a clothesline and wondered if they would provoke the bulls in the neighboring field.

8. Floydfest clothesline

9. We picked Friday for our family day at Floydfest because it was Morgan Wade’s Floydfest homecoming and she was playing on the main stage Friday evening. Morgan is Floyd’s own rising star who made a connection with Sadler Vaden (Jason Isbell’s guitarist who produced her first album) while playing Floydfest in 2018. Of course, the whole county of Floyd is fans of Morgan’s including my daughter-in-law. What fun it was to sing-along and hang out next to a group of her old school friends who could barely contain themselves. There was some cross talk with the audience, including with her grandma of course, and some donuts delivered on stage after Morgan mentioned hearing about them. More HERE.

10. And from the Rolling Stone magazine: “Following her mainstage set at FloydFest last weekend, in front of a raucous crowd of thousands, singer-songwriter Morgan Wade takes a seat on a couch backstage. Between sips of coffee, a slight grin emerges on her face when asked what the performance meant to her. “I grew up about three miles from here,” the 27-year-old “Wilder Days” singer tells Rolling Stone, “so I was able to get my dad to drop me off today, which was really nice…” “The last time I played I didn’t have an agent or a manager. I didn’t have a label. I didn’t have any of that,” says Wade. “And I said, ‘The next time I play FloydFest, it’s going to be the main stage, and I’m going to have my bus and have a team.’ I rolled up here [today] and I did it.” – Garret K. Woodward, Rolling Stone.

11. “Dreams are the natural reaction of the self-regulating psychic system. When we dream, the ongoing effort of our psyche to balance itself takes over, and the dreams counteract what we have done to imbalance our psychological selves.” -Carl Jung

12. I’m still waiting for my vertigo to go.

13. “Human compassion is equal to human cruelty, and it is up to each of us to tip the balance.” -Alice Walker

_________Thirteen Thursday

Every day at Floydfest is my favorite. Every picture, every scene and every connection with friends felt cherished and full of history this year because it was the last festival on the 20-year site (new location in Floyd County coming in 2023).

Our family has been to every Floydfest over its 20-year history and it’s a family reunion for us, as well as for our extended family of Floyd friends.

The girl from Indian Valley, Emmaline Hicks, who I wrote about for the local paper HERE showed off her voice and songwriting skills at the Workshop Porch and was a hit.

The Workshop Porch is probably my favorite Floydfest stage and I found myself wondering if it could ever be re-created.

My son and I took a walk in the neighborhood to visit with longtime dear friends on vendor row.

Everyone looks better with art.

Too much IPA in the beer garden?

Yes it did!

Although the weather forecast kept calling for a high probability of rain all weekend, we only got a couple of short-lived downpours late Sunday and the sun came back out for The Turnpike Troubadours.

It was a high point for the closing of the main stage headline performers (cameo by house photographer Rich Cox in this clip).

The band was new to me, but not to the majority of the crowd who whooped and cheered, danced and sang along.

Endings are bittersweet and I can’t find a path to the chicken coop for the garden pumpkins and weeds at home. I feel grateful for the past 20 years at Floydfest, a truly magical place, and I’m wishing all the best for all those who will be working hard over this year to create something awesome for 2023. See you next year!

_____Check out Thursday at Floydfest HERE.  Friday at Floydfest HERE and Saturday HERE.  Click HERE for the sidebar category of Floydfesting for all the past Floydfest posts over the years.

The Carolina Honeydrops’ version of The Grateful Dead’s Ripple (a song that always gives me goosebumps) was the masterpiece of my Floydfest Saturday.

It was New Orleans style

with dancers, horns, a sing-along and even a tuba!

Who Dat? Ready for a sweet Saturday.

But it’s bittersweet because it’s the last year the festival will be held on the current site along The Blue Ridge Parkway, a place we all have come to love.

Seeing as it’s the last festival on the site it was fitting to get a group shot of everyone who had 100% attendance in the 20 years that the festival has been going on.

The festival is moving next year to a 200+ acre site off 221 in the Check part of Floyd County.

Floydfest’s Builder Bob has every laminate staff tag from every year since the festival began in 2002.

Seeing Keller Williams and his daughter Ella on the Children’s Universe stage was a fun pit stop. She writes her own songs and is apparently headed for a career in the family business.

Ann Wilson of Heart was an evening headliner that cranked out the hits and the audience loved it. Watch HERE. 

I didn’t stay for the nighttime headliners (it pays to live 5 miles up the road) but good ol’ boy rockers Will Easter and the Nomads, an On the Rise band, made for a nice send off.

Floydfest Friday was family day with my sons and grandsons on the scene. It all went by fast and I didn’t get my yearly family group shot. This was the closest I came. We’re being photo-bombed by the two little boys on the left. I took several pictures and couldn’t get them to get out of the frame, so we went with it. It’s all one big family at Floydfest anyway.

Joe’s sister was part of this year’s family mix. It’s the second year she’s volunteered her nursing skills during the festival set-up in trade for weekend tickets.

The reason we picked Friday for family day was because it was Morgan Wade’s Floydfest homecoming. Morgan is Floyd’s own rising star who made a connection with Sadler Vaden (Jason Isbell’s guitarist who produced her first album) while playing Floydfest in 2018.

HERE is the story from a Floyd Press interview I did with my friend Morgan in 2019 as she was about to blow up.

But if you put her name in my blog search bar (on the right), you will see I’ve been covering her since her first show at Floyd’s Dogtown Roadhouse.

Of course, the whole county of Floyd is fans of Morgan’s including my daughter-in-law.

What fun it was to sing-along and hang out next to a group of her old school friends who could barely contain themselves.

And look who showed up just in time!

There was some cross talk with the audience, including with her grandma of course, and some donuts delivered on stage after Morgan mentioned hearing about them.

We checked in with our other favorite local talent, Music Road Co. in the Libations Tent.

And checked out a new-at-Floydfest band we got a few recommendations on, The Kitchen Dwellers, self-described at “A Journey to Outer Bluegrass…”

Also, we couldn’t resist stopping for a few songs from Melissa Etheridge. All this and it was only the second day for me. Two more to go!

Every year I get as excited about the main field installation designed by Erik Davis as I do about the music line-up.

My Thursday afternoon started with catching a set of Blacksburg’s own Isaac Hadden on the Hill Holler Stage.

Isaac’s been coming to Floydfest since he was a baby and has grown up musically at the festival.

The scene was sweet. One young woman at the Teen Tent that Joe heads up said, “I love Floydfest because it’s big enough that you can disappear if you want, and small enough that you won’t get lost.”

A Grateful Dead dance gathering is like church for some Dead Heads.

I found several friends in this mix.

Can you spot Waldo, aka Yours Truly.

Lake Street Dive, a talented mix of songwriting musicians formed out of the New England Conservatory of Boson was a Thursday night highlight on the main stage.

Vocalist Rachael Price sings like a cross between Amy Winehouse and Bonnie Raitt.

The band has performed on David Letterman, Colbert, Ellen DeGeneres and other shows. HERE is a cover of Anyone Who Has a Heart.

Everyone, especially the younger attendees, love the Silent Disco.

Joe and I love us some fun house fun inside the heart installation.

This happened too, a Workshop Porch screening of A Year in the Pit: A Journey Into Music Photography, a documentary by John Woody that prominently features Floydfest. More to come…

1. I dreamt that I cut off part of my ear (I don’t remember why), more than I meant to. I saved it for a while and then threw it away. Then, in the dream, I was applying to attend a retreat of sorts and was about to be given a bath. I was afraid they would see it and not accept me.

2. A few days after that dream, I was wracking my brain to remember the dream and could only remember that it was strange and a different kind of dream for me.  Then, I was talking to friend about my garden and said to her, ‘I just ate my first ear of corn, but not like Van Gogh.’ The dream came back.

3. I was thinking of titling this 13 Thursday ‘Playing it by Ear.’

4. This is my kind of play date.

5. The Bowerbird is an artist, creating elaborate structures to attract potential mates and placing a variety of bright objects they collect in and around a bower, spending many hours arranging the collection. See HERE.

6. “Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.” – Diane Ackerman

7. I prolong my sleep / for the lure of escape/ from the doom of false prophets / who impose their beliefs / They stake their claims / on the bodies of women / degrade diversity / and individual freedoms… Read Don’t Wake Me Early in its entirety HERE.

8. “The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.” — Plato

9. I cried watching Joni Mitchell perform with Brandi Carlile after decades at the Newport Folk Festival. I saw Joni in Massachusetts at the Tanglewood outdoor music venue in 1974, which is where she said, “You know, a painter does a painting and that’s it. He’s had the joy of creating it. No one ever said to Van Gogh, ‘Paint another “Starry Night” again, man.'”

10. A special edition of the Mainichi newspaper in Japan was printed on 100% biodegradable paper with plant-based ink, and embedded with seeds that, when planted, would grow into flowers to attract butterflies and other pollinators, or herbs to eat. The publisher instructed people to tear the discarded newspaper into small pieces, plant the shreds in soil, and then water the container as they would any plant.

11. A Texas newspaper asks the million-dollar question: Is this a typical Texas heatwave or the coldest summer of the rest of our lives?

12. Mute or moot?

13. Floydfest is just a Heartbeat away. HERE is my last story for The Floyd Press on Floydfest before the paper cut the stringer budget and HERE is my story from last year.

_______Thirteen Thursday

It’s been fun to read poetry in different places and to different audiences. This time, thanks to Elle Roe and others, the hosts were a local book club.  We met on the back porch of The Floyd Country Store.

It was not a back-and-forth Soulful Aging duo between me and Katherine, as we have been doing, but a reading I set up with Elle when Objects Are Closer Than They Appear came out in December. Hitting an emotional cord, talking to my late sister in dreams, becoming a tourist to my own aging and inhabiting the inner life where the ground of consciousness isn’t mine alone…

I took a request, answered a few questions and told the story of how I used to have public speaking phobia (story HERE). Every remnant pulled from memory or a dream resonates with an afterlife, as if it was a visitation from the same place where my dead loved ones are, closer than they seem… Katherine shared some of her poems and haikus. 

Did I mention there was cake?

In February we took our Grief and Relief Soulful Aging Tour to the Jessie Peterman Library in Floyd.  We read with other poets at the Taubman Museum in March,  and also joined with other poets in April at a Poetry Society of Virginia reading in Floyd.  In June we performed the Soulful Aging Tour at The Little River Poetry Festival, and repeated it at the Soup Shop later that month. Our next Soulful Aging Tour reading will take place in the Yoga Jam Tea Shanty on Saturday, September 3. Note: Both Katherine’s and my books, Objects Are Closer Than They Appear and Poetic Memoir of a Nascent Senescent: Poems from My Sixties, and others are available on Amazon and locally at The Harvest Moon Food Store and the Floyd Country Store.

I cling to morning sleep
like I cling to the blanket
when it’s cold

I keep my eyes closed
as if there was a war
I didn’t want to see

As if our country
wasn’t selling arms
to young white men
who murder children

I prolong my sleep
for the lure of escape
from the doom of false prophets
who impose their beliefs

They stake their claims
on the bodies of women
degrade diversity
and individual freedoms

I linger in between
wakefulness and dreams
where nightmares are metaphors
and privacy is assured

Until the light of day
gathers strength
and reality creeps in
I resolve to make the best of it
to be awake again

_____Colleen Redman / Poets and Storytellers United /dVerse Poets Pub