Do you feel like this?
The Poem: It starts out as a sensuous pleasure, the right chemistry of words and feelings at play. But then comes the daunting work of putting it all together…digging deeper for the details…editing out the unnecessary…laboring over every line break…all done with an underlying urge to get it all just right. If you can persevere though, the effort will often lead to a satisfying climax, a sense of completion, and an excitement to share it with others. Funny how every creative process is like birth, marriage…or sex.
The poem posted here was conceived out of frustration, rather than sensuous play, but still…it has its play. (The only thing missing is a line about rewiring my own coded template.) It’s meant to reflect the imperfect state of my blog and to express how I feel about my lack of skill and ability to fix it. (It’s still not safe to hit those sidebar links.) Firstly, I’m not a computer programmer and every new thing I learn on the computer seems to take hours of uphill effort. Secondly, my husband – a counselor with one class away from his Master’s – has been doing homework on our only computer all weekend. My husband and I have been known to bicker about who’s in control of “the mouse,” as if it is an extension of our hands and to give it up would be an amputation. If we’re in the computer room together, we’re likely to be possessive of the mouse, in the same way we are of the TV remote. I like to watch the news on all 4 channels to get the gist of what stories are being covered or not, and, needless to say, my husband has other ideas about how to watch the news.The poem was written about 10 years ago and was recently resurrected when one of my sisters used the word “discombobulated” in an email post to me. “Do you feel like this?” was my answer.
Remodeling
I’m a discombobulated
arrangement of cells
running askew
I need a screw
to tighten my grip
because I’m loose at the hinges
Or maybe I’m under construction
expanding my own dimensions
and I need a level to keep it straight
until the changes fall into place
November 13th, 2005 9:00 pm
I have to respond to your poem “Remodeling”. Maybe it’s a mid-life almost ready to turn 50 thing….but this is exactly how I feel! “Loose at the hinges” and “needing a level to keep things straight until the changes fall into place”. I just stumbled upon your blog this evening and I am anxious to read more of your writings. Thank you for sharing pieces of yourself with the world!
Robyn Nelson