The Love Link
I recently posted a photo of my childhood home in Hull, Massachusetts, which was taken by eminent domain and burned to the ground to make way for a town sewage plant. Several people who loved that house as much as I did left comments. I also got this comment from a blogger friend, “I didn’t realize that so many of your readers are your siblings. I’m a little jealous.”
“Well, there were 9 of us. So the odds of me getting some of my siblings to my blog are pretty good,” I told her. But the real reason more than half of my siblings and niece have been to my blog is probably because of something called “The LoveLink.” Let me explain…
After my brother Jimmy died unexpectedly 4 years ago, my brother Dan’s health, which was compromised by a liver disease, deteriorated rapidly. Because our family was still recovering from the shock of Jimmy’s death, a childhood friend of Dan’s flew with him back to Houston, where Danny had been living for the previous 22 years. He wanted to go home for “closure,” he told us.
He only got to spend part of one night in his own bed, before being transported to the hospital, where he remained for the next 2 weeks, until his death. Since it was looking pretty serious for Dan, one of us had fly to Houston to be with him. I volunteered. It wasn’t long before the doctor gave me Dan’s shocking prognosis and I called my sister, Kathy, to say, “Come now. I need you.”
In the weeks that my sister and I lived at Dan’s apartment, my mother came and left and my sister-in law, a hospice nurse, came just days before Dan passed. It was during this time that the LoveLink, an e-mail group consisting of mostly family members and a few Redman family fans, began. Each night, Kathy or I would type the day’s events and news about Dan to the group, who were hanging on our every word. It was actually called “The Sister Group” back then. I’m not sure why, because the brothers were online too. Maybe it was called “The Sister Group” because the sisters in my family are either more talkative than the brothers or they type faster.
After Dan died, I typed my last wrenching post to the group…For those of you who don’t already know, we lost our precious Dan today…and the e-mail group ended.
Just weeks after Dan died, the twin towers in New York came down. My niece, who also lived in Virginia, revived the e-mail group under the new name of VA/MA LoveLink so that we could keep each other updated on changing world events. Since that date, nearly 4 years ago, we haven’t missed a day posting something…political, personal, or comical… to each other on the LoveLink. Because Jim and Dan were online before they died, I can’t even bring myself delete my siblings e-mails, knowing how much Jim and Dan’s e-mails meant to me after the died, and fearing another loss.
I started blogging only recently, in March of 2004. I wanted my siblings to participate in my blog from day one, but it took time. Except for my sister, Kathy, who has her own blog, most didn’t completely understand the nature of blogging. I cut and pasted each day’s entry and sent it to the LoveLink… until slowly and occasionally some of them came to my site and even left comments.
It means the world to me when they do.
To read more of my family story you can go to my silver and gold website, which is dedicated to my brothers.
June 17th, 2005 10:18 am
Wow I enspired a post!
I have a much, much smaller family and live at a distance from them. When I originally started a blog I had this vision of it being a way of keeping in touch with them as well as the friends I have scattered around the globe.
I got very frustrated at first, because nobody seemed even willing to check it out. But after I stopped worrying about it some people seemed more interested. I love the idea of an email group.
June 17th, 2005 10:38 am
Now if I can just get my girlfriends to visit my blog! Some of the friends I would like to share with, aren’t too inclined towards computers. So, I decided I would just be open to making new friends. But often when I’m with my friends, I don’t feel like repeating what I already wrote, and I would just like to refer them to the post.
The latest Utne Reader has an interesting article called “Blogging Off: Your blog’s great but can it buy me a beer?” The author writes about feeling out of the loop and like she was losing her friends because they all have blogs and she doesn’t. The article was clipped and given to me by a close friend. I think maybe she was giving me a hint.
June 17th, 2005 11:28 am
Hi there!
I think its great that your siblings post to your blog. I get a phone call from my sister maybe once every 6 months. And if i call her she is always letting me go. Says she will drop me an email when she has time. I havent had an email from her in over 8 months. If something happened I wouldnt even know it. Communication is so important!
Ivy..
June 17th, 2005 1:27 pm
Hello, Michele sent me, but I’m here now and then anyways. Your family sounds absolutely wonderful!
I’m so sorry about the loss of your brother.
June 17th, 2005 2:47 pm
That’s a wonderful Idea! I also thought that my friends and family would read my blog, as a way to stay in the loop but only one friend bothers, and my sister as well. I think you’re love link is a great initiative!
hi via Michele!!! (i’ve been here before though)
June 17th, 2005 2:59 pm
Here from Michele’s. I’m glad I came here. I journal, too. I just finished some of my own memoirs. http://douglasaz.blogspot.com/ Invite you to enjoy.
You have an interesting site. I’d like to bookmark and touch bases from time to time.
June 17th, 2005 3:12 pm
just a touch your base read, kiss & run … see ya at the poetry reading tonight. xoxo
June 17th, 2005 8:21 pm
I am an only child, and reading of you and your family really makes me wish I had siblings.
June 18th, 2005 12:32 am
I think the idea of a family newsblog is a wonderful idea. My family doesn’t really get it either. My dad reads quite a bit, but the rest of them don’t understand at all or they’re just too busy. Anyway, I think its great that your siblings do. Thats a tremendous family legacy.
June 18th, 2005 11:29 am
Hi Col! “Niece” Chrissie here. I just wanted to send my love! Your post brought shivers and brought me back to 2001.
I also wanted to mention if anyone is interested in starting their own “Love-link” (but you can’t steal my name) you can go to yahoogroups.com – this will guide you through the process and then the next step is to invite people to join!
It is truly awesome – and the good part everyone gets the emails that others post so it is not like your just emailing back and forth with one person! If you decide to give this a try ENJOY!
February 15th, 2006 10:13 am
I love that your family is so close and used the web to keep/stay you close.
Beautiful.