Two Heads Are Better Than One
Number 28 in my “100 Things About Me list” states that my husband and I have the same IQ number, but for different reasons. More than one intrigued reader asked for some further explanation. So here’s the story:
I found a good IQ test online, which professed to be the most thorough and scientifically accurate IQ test on the Web, developed by PhDs, and previously offered only to corporations, schools, and certified professionals I had never taken one before and was curious. I know I’m smart enough, but I don’t always come across that way, probably because of my family inheritance of unusual brain wiring (aka known as dyslexia and/or dyscalculia).
I surprised myself by getting a fairly high score. For the next day or so, I teased my husband, claiming to be a “genius.” Although it was an obvious exaggeration, being a “genius” was my new explanation or excuse for every thing, as if I had discovered a royal family background.
Then…I don’t know what I was thinking…I baited him to take the test, asking, “Don’t you want to see if you’re a genius too?” After he agreed, I realized that a competition of intelligence for mates is like playing with fire. Whether his score was higher or lower, life between us might never be the same. I became increasingly uncomfortable as he was finishing the test.
Lucky me! He scored the same exact number as me. But that’s not where the story ends.
Like two scientists whose curiosities were peaked, we re-took the test together, carefully comparing which ones we got right and which ones we didn’t. For over an hour, we deliberated and explained to each other how we came to our conclusions. We discovered (no real surprise) that we are of two completely different minds. He, the more linear and mathematically minded, took longer to complete the test and used more paper to compute his answers than I did. I was quick, intuitive, and strong in nuance and language. There was one question comparing rates of time and distance that I didn’t even try to answer. At times, I couldn’t break down my explanations of why I had answered a certain way, and at one point, I remember saying, “guessing well is a form of intelligence too.”
In the end, my husband didn’t need the IQ test for validation. His kind of intelligence is already well recognized and supported in our modern culture. But for me, as one who starts in left field and has to work my home, it was an important validation.
Sometimes I think one of the reasons couples marry is to put 2 incomplete brains together to make one complete one.
July 29th, 2005 10:10 am
I completely agree with your final statement.
Michele sent me today!
July 29th, 2005 10:13 am
I think you could expand on that and say it bring two incomplete people together and makes one pretty darn good person! 🙂 Just my 2 copper pennies worth of input. Thanks for poppin’ in today.
Cheers
P.
July 29th, 2005 10:34 am
well for my part i know my brain and it’s linear functioning were/are the results of the cultural programming which values such constructs.
some part of me remained undomesticated enuf to recognize not only your beauty but the benefits i would enjoy by joining my skills with yours.
i, like many folks educated and socialized in the dominant paternalistic culture was out of balance not only mentally but emotionally as well. no creativity, no humor, blunted intuitiveness…etc. while i was “successful” according to those warped cultural norms i was for the most part a miserable wretch.
the DEAD said it best
“That’s right, the women ARE smarter, that’s right !!!”
thank goodness, goddess led me to this one 🙂
July 29th, 2005 10:44 am
Interesting post! I agree with Paul’s comment… putting the two “people” together.
Your blog never disappoints me.
July 29th, 2005 11:37 am
Now that last statement makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why opposites attract.
July 29th, 2005 3:44 pm
The Spouse Thingy and I have totally different strengths–he’s got the math/science brain, I have the verbal skills/writing brain. I don’t think I’d want to match wits with him on an IQ test, though…and if we throw our kid into the mix, we’d both feel stupid and the Boy would feel way too superior 😉
here via Michele’s!
July 29th, 2005 10:03 pm
Nodding at that closing sentence. Mary has an extraordinary scientific mind — and although I have some of that, hers dazzles me. She also does wonderful writing and art, but I think she treats that as her secondary home.
Interpersonally she blazes forth where I’m more shy and vice-versa. And our problem-solving is often complementary (household refrain: “That’s why you married me/I married you”).
I think we took that same IQ test a while back. Our scores weren’t identical but they were very close.
Off-topic: I loved “Irrigation” in We’Moon ’05. “Story castings” — wonderful.
joeyk: Thanks so much for your notes and support! And thanks for forwarding the poem.
July 29th, 2005 11:25 pm
I have never taken an I.Q. test. I have never been brave enough to know. Doesn’t that show how horribly competitive I can be? And it’s pitiful for a teacher, who’s always trying to convince her students that tests do not measure worth.
July 29th, 2005 11:39 pm
Differences are fascinating tho aren’t they. It’s like my hub and I. We would see circumstance A, perceive adn deduct a whole string of things, agree with “all the steps” then be baffled that after all that yes, we drew different conclusions. Or have the same conclusion but arrived at it from a different logic. Yet stay parallel. Delightful dif. From that we are always fresh adn enriching to each other. I bet the same is true of you and yours.
July 30th, 2005 10:37 pm
Yes, I know what you mean. In my case, it’s MY job to remember where HE puts things!
July 31st, 2005 10:16 am
Yes, I relate to what Laura said. it’s like checking the sex of your baby before its born. Do you really want to know? But the lure to take the test in the privacy of my own office got the better of me. I don’t recommend asking your mate to take it, like I did… even though mine can always win at arm wrestling.
May 14th, 2014 10:43 pm
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