Family Bonds
Love makes people ferocious. ~ Michael Mead
My family tends to go through dramatic events in pairs. First there was a sister and a brother who were both hit by cars when they were teenagers. Both were pedestrians about the same age and needing to change the life course they were on when it happened, both sustained broken legs which required surgery and hardware, and both went on to live with an older sibling after their long recoveries.
When one of my niece’s was fighting for her life due to complications of pneumonia, a nephew was coming into the world under emergency duress. And of course losing my brothers, Jim and Dan, four years ago was the epitome of a family pattern of tragic symmetry. Their deaths paralleled and intertwined as though a plan was unfolding.
Earlier this week, another unbelievable family story unfolded in a synchronistic way. It started when I received a shocking email from my sister, Kathy (who has also blogged about this), telling me that our youngest sister had a grand mal seizure and was in the hospital. It was not her first seizure, but the last one she had was 13 years ago, incredibly…on the same date as this one. Her two young sons, heroes of the day, were with her when it happened. The six year old called 911.
Later that day, a second shocking email arrived in my mailbox. My mother and sisters were with my youngest sister in the hospital when a nurse came in and asked if they knew Robert Redman, my father! My father had been in a car accident, and the nurse did some detective work after he told the hospital staff when he was admitted that his daughter had a seizure earlier in the day and was in the same hospital. One was in room 12, the other in room 21.
My sister is home now and doing well, but my dad is still in the ICU. Although he is expected to recover, I can’t help but think of Jim, who was killed in a crushing industrial accident, when I think about the impact that my father endured. And I can’t help but re-live the experience of being with Dan in the ICU the last weeks of his life when I hear the ups and downs of my dad’s daily progress. Emails and phone calls between family members are flying across the air waves, nerves are raw, and tears are on the surface, just like those last weeks with Dan.
Blogging can also be a vehicle of synchronicity. On the same day, I was held in the grip of this family crisis, my blogger friend, Lu, unknowingly reminded of the strong bonds and love I have for my family. She had recently read my books and then reviewed them on her site. Here’s what she said about “The Jim and Dan Stories…”
…as much as this book is about colleen and her family and their tragedies…it is about my family and your family and anybody’s family…it’s about unconditional love…and bonds that can’t be broken…its about memories and legacy…it is about the human spirit.
Thanks, Lu! It seems that the story goes on…and so does the strength of the human spirit.
Photo: Family events occurring in pairs aren’t only those of a tragic nature. After the first 5 of us were born, the last four came in sets of two. These are the last two of the 9 Redman siblings in the early 1960s. They were inseparable at the time this photo was taken, and we could barely say the name of one of them without following it with the name of the other.
October 21st, 2005 9:49 am
Oh, Colleen. I am so sorry for all that is going on. Thanks for writing about all of this. Peace be with you and your family as you go through this time.
October 21st, 2005 10:22 am
Hi Col, Beautiful job with linking how our faimly seems to always have things happen in pairs. I love you. BTW, I read Lu’s post and was impressed. I tried to respond over at her site but it wouldn’t take, so I’ll say “thank you” to her here, for having recoginzed the value of the “pair” of books you have written. Love, Kathy
October 21st, 2005 11:50 am
Colleen–I wish you and your family the best as things unfold for your father. It is good you have each other to lean on during this time, and it is good that you shared with your readers. Peace.
October 21st, 2005 12:13 pm
I hope that both your Dad and your sister continue to recover. Hugs to you!
October 21st, 2005 3:05 pm
Oh Colleen.. I am so sorry. I hope your sister and Dad continue to improve.
((HUGS))
October 21st, 2005 3:28 pm
{{{{HUGS}}}} I will be sending prayers your way. It is always amazing how these things happen.
I know I have repeated lots of thing that have happened to my parents, unintentionally.
October 21st, 2005 6:38 pm
Life never lets you coast for long, does it? I send you peace and energy to get through this time. Next blog you can write about the pair of good events that have happened to your dad and sister.
October 21st, 2005 7:08 pm
Hi Coll, What a great blog entry descibing such an unbelievable day. I’m still in awe over the whole thing……especially us both being in the ER together. My seizures (only 2 thank god) seem to always be followed by some ghastly family upheaval. You can bet I’m praying that I never have another. Thanks to all your blog friends who sent well wishes my way. I’m on the mend. Now we just need Dad to be too! LOVE your little sister Tricia
October 21st, 2005 7:56 pm
What a blog entry and that girl holding the bottle is adorable!!!!
October 21st, 2005 8:11 pm
{{{Hugs}}} — sending prayers for you and yours. I’m glad Tricia’s on the mend. May things only get better from here….
October 21st, 2005 10:42 pm
oh my gosh. i can’t beleive all that is happened to you and your family. such tragedy and loss. i wish you and your family happier times and hope that your dad is doing better very soon. here from micheles
October 21st, 2005 10:44 pm
Colleen~how tragically beautiful, all these pairs. Wishing you positive thoughts…here from Michele’s.
October 21st, 2005 10:47 pm
here via michele’s. i’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
October 22nd, 2005 6:25 pm
Our prayers are with you and Joe and your family.
October 26th, 2005 5:55 pm
I know. I’m reading backwards again. It’s a terrible habit really, but I only do it with blog posts, not books (except if you want to count that I often take a peek at the final page).
This was such a neat post. I realize many of those “twos” weren’t cheerful events, but in a sense it’s as if you folks (your family) are hell bent on having company with you no matter what the heck you go through. Birth, death, mischief, accidents … it’s uncanny, isn’t it?
What a wonderful family. I’m SO envious!