I Almost Went to Woodstock
AKA: My “Liar Liar” contest backfired!
I recently posted 4 things about myself, one of which was a lie, and asked readers to guess which one. Most everyone picked “I went to Woodstock” as the lie. And they were right, but not right for the right reasons. They thought I wasn’t old enough to have gone to Woodstock, but I was! Here’s the story:
I almost went to Woodstock. I planned to go. I was old enough, at 19 years old. My brother Jimmy, 4 years older than me, went. I had friends who were going and who pleaded with me to go too. I imagine that they were waiting outside in a car beeping the horn, but I wouldn’t come out. Although, I wasn’t even aware of the word “depression” (we called it a “nervous breakdown” back then), I was clinically depressed at the time.
There were no decent treatments or medications for major depression disorder back then. Nothing terrible had happened to cause it. I just woke up one day with a chemical imbalance. My hands shook. I couldn’t concentrate or sleep. I felt painfully self- conscious, as if I had forgotten everything I ever knew how to do, and nothing…absolutely nothing had even one ounce of pleasure to it.
Years later, I did some medical and genealogy research in an attempt to understand what had happened to me and came to suspect that my depression was related to the thyroid gland and was something I was genetically pre-disposed to. It eventually ran its course (something in-between a year and two) and caused me to study nutrition and to improve my own. Ultimately, suffering through a severe depression was a rude awakening that shaped me, deepened me, and made me more compassionate of others.
I hate that I have had to spend my adult life saying “I almost went to Woodstock,” the cultural event of my generation. But I think it was probably a good idea that I missed it. Even considering that I could have seen Janis Joplin sing onstage if I went, as someone depressed at the time, I don’t think I could have handled all the rain, mud, and the crowds that Woodstock was famous for.
As for the 3 true statements:
~ I rode on an elephant at a Renaissance Festival in Texas.
~ I hiked part of the Appalachian Trail…4 days worth.
~ In the 70s I worked behind the scenes on a short-lived Boston Children’s TV show, managing the children when they were offstage. Sometimes I (or my hands) could be seen on TV setting up projects and delivering supplies. I also was in the audience of “Candlepins for Cash.” My mother was a bowling contestant on the show and all nine of her kids went to support her, back in the days of Major Mudd, another Boston based 1970s TV show.
The last time I played this “pick out the lie” game only a couple guessed the right answer, but this time the majority guessed right. I’ll have to make it harder next time. Here are the winners. Thanks to everyone for playing!
A Revision , Melange, Jo(e)’s Place , Life in Mayberry , Colleen’s Corner, Nkki-ann,Hurricane Country , Musings from the Underground , Blue Stocking
November 28th, 2005 8:09 am
Awwww, that sucks. I saw a picture of Janis Joplin on a calendar this weekend (a collection of shots from the ’60s by Linda McCartney); it was the one where she’s holding up the bottle of Southern Comfort for the camera. So THAT’S why I drank SC in high school! It’s alllll coming back now…
What tv show? Not Rex? I was on that show; he was not so nice to the kids LOL!
November 28th, 2005 8:28 am
Riding an elephant in Texas has the makings of a good short story. :->
November 28th, 2005 8:51 am
I should have gone along with the crowd and said woodstock. Just four days on the AT? What part? You can spend 5-6 weeks just on the Virginia Section.
November 28th, 2005 8:57 am
Hi Col, When you were busy making plans to go to Woodstock, so too was I. Was I planning to go with our brother Jimmy? Or friends? I forget now but I do remember happily making arrangements, only to back out because of self-righteous motherhood demands, which was probably also why I also missed your depression – sorry. I can’t imagine how I didn’t notice your depression, except that you were probably as successful at hiding it, as I was at convincing myself that a mature mother of 22 (or thereabouts) should not be interested in the stuff of youth. I sometimes wish I had gone. I always wish I knew you were depressed.
Kathy
November 28th, 2005 9:21 am
Wow!
I’m sorry you missed that. I wish I would have been able to see it. (I was born in the wrong generation. All the great music was before my time). I’m glad you were able to overcome your depression. Not easy to do.
Take care
November 28th, 2005 10:40 am
I don’t remember the name of the TV show, but I remember Brother Blue was on it. Remember him?
The elephant ride was like a pony ride (set up at a Ren Faire) only an elephant. Sherry, weren’t you there too? I wish we took a picture of it.
I thought hiking the Appalachian Trail would throw some people off, but Kenju busted me right away on whether it was the whole trail (which takes at least 6 months) or part of it, so I changed the wording slightly. I think we were in Pulaski County. My pack was heavy!
Kath, I don’t even remember you when I was depressed. I don’t think you were living at home then. Yes, you grew up way too fast (or pretended to). I never knew you “almost went to Woodstock” too. Too bad Jim isn’t here to get his perspective on this conversation. From what I recall he had somewhat of a bummer, but he did see Janis Joplin.
Trish got a similiar depression at the same age, which is how I determine it to be genetic, only she was treated quickly and didn’t have to suffer long. Trish, try to imagine what it would have been like to be feeling how you did for well over a year! I did try to hide it from everyone. There is a lot of self-loathing with depression, particularly when you’re young and can’t separate yourself from the “illness.” You tend to think it’s who you are!
November 28th, 2005 11:57 am
I think the “almost went” story might be more interesting than the “I did go” stories I’ve heard.
I did listen once to an interview with Joni Mitchell in which she talked about how she “almost went” to Woodstock. She had an interview on the Dick Cavett show the next day and there was worry that if she went, she wouldn’t make it back in time.
November 28th, 2005 12:19 pm
To Colleen’s comment (below):
We were making plans to go to Woodstock when I was living home for a short time. When Bobby (my X) first went to Nam. That would have made Chrissie anywhere from 14 – 18 months old. I only lived home again for a short while before I bought grampa’s house on Bell Street.
When I left my comment ealier, I doubted you’d recall, because, as I said…we were each deep into our own realities. I’m glad we keep better tabs now.
Colleen said:
*Kath, I don’t even remember you when I was depressed. I don’t think you were living at home then. Yes, you grew up way too fast (or pretended to). I never knew you “almost went to Woodstock” too. Too bad Jim isn’t here to get his perspective on this conversation. From what I recall he had somewhat of a bummer, but he did see Janis Joplin. *
November 28th, 2005 2:38 pm
Yes Jo(e), I remember the same interview and Joni Mitchell talking about how she “almost” went to Woodstock…and she did write the anthem about Woodstock that Crosby Stills and Nash covered first. And the good news is that I DID see Joni Mitchell in concert…outside and with no rain or mud.
November 28th, 2005 2:41 pm
Hi there! Janis ROCKS!
I think I have to read a few other posts! I need to cath up. I have been gone for 4 days – Oops!
Hope you had a nice weekend!
November 28th, 2005 4:03 pm
See, I knew you didn’t hike the whole trail – so I am right about that part, at least.
I thought for sure you were at Woodstock.
November 28th, 2005 4:26 pm
I don’t remember how old I was when Woodstock happened, but I remember hearing about it. Probably wouldn’t have gone because I never did like Janis Joplin or any of the other groups. I was probably right on the cusp for age. Of course, (and here come all those slings and arrows) I never liked Elvis or Johnny Cash either.
I’m glad you didn’t go if you were clinically depressed. With the alcohol and the ease by which LSD could be slipped to someone, I imagine it could result in a horrible tragedy. But you’ve been on an elephant and on TV, both I’ve never done.
You made my day. I don’t usually win things.
November 28th, 2005 4:54 pm
I rode an elephant at an ren faire in Texas too! Scarborough Faire perhaps?
November 28th, 2005 5:38 pm
Missed the contest. Probably would have gotten it wrong since I missed the first contest. Not very intuitive, am I?
November 28th, 2005 5:43 pm
Yey… I won, I won.
Though I am still surprised that you were old enough to go 🙂
I admire your strength and honesty in regards to your experience with depression.
November 28th, 2005 6:07 pm
Hi Coll, I never went on the elephant ride, but I did want to go to WOODSTOCK too. I admire you too, to talk about your experiences even the negative ones. xoxo
November 28th, 2005 8:44 pm
Yeah, I was second guessing myself and had started to think that the elephant ride was reverse psychology for sure.
November 28th, 2005 9:43 pm
I went to Florence, Italy, with Brother Blue (and a bunch of other folks) — he and Ruth are wonderful people! (He turned to me in a coffee house during a poetry open mic in ’86 and said, “We’re going to Florence next year — want to come?” and I said, “Sure!” I’d bump into him or both of them often in the Harvard Square PO & on the streets around there. We once jammed in Brattle Square because I had my lap harp with me and played it while he told one of his stories — taking his narrative style as my cue. They’re among the folks I miss up there.
The closest I came to “Woodstock” was the first Boston-NY AIDS Ride in ’95 — our second night it poured. Mud and tents everywhere, thousands of people camped out. Okay, no music, but I took one look around me and thought this is what Woodstock must have felt like, at least in part.
I am sorry you went through such depression, but gratified that you came through it and did the research that helped you and others as well.
November 29th, 2005 1:20 am
That is VERY interesting, Coleen…I knew that even if you were very young you could have gone to Woodstock, because of it’s proximity…so, that was why I said I thought it might be that but decided it wasn’t…Well, was I ever wtong!! Great idea for a p0ost, and I may steal it from you..Hope you won’t mind…I will definitely give you credit, my dear…
November 29th, 2005 2:16 am
Woodstock means the beginning of adolescence for me and my friends. We sang and danced (?)to 10 Years After “I’m coming home”. Your post brings back so many dear memories. You have gone through many things in life, but come out stronger, I think.