My Place or Yours?
I used to think something was wrong with me, but now I just accept it. I’m not your hostess type. Burning pots on the stove and letting the housework go while being distracted by poetry is something I’ve always been upfront about and even confessed to in my wedding vows when my husband and I got married ten years ago on the Blue Ridge Parkway. My close friends know that if I attend a potluck, I’m more likely to bring a bag of corn chips than a homemade casserole or a pie. But I make it up to them with my yearly Christmas Eve Open House. With one fell swoop and a platter full of cookies, I get my hosting out of the way for the year.
Even so, a date for dinner with my friend Juniper and her boyfriend was recently circled on my calendar, and because I’ve eaten at her house over a dozen times and she’s never eaten at mine, I agreed to host the get-together.
Juniper knows that my lack of hostess skills is complicated by the fact that I manage a longstanding variety of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and can easily become depleted of energy if I do too much. Because she was my employer when I worked part time at her Blacksburg bead shop years ago, she knows my frailties and tendencies. Back in those days, she learned not to be shocked when she occasionally found me stretched out on the floor in the back room, desperate for rest. She was always supportive and not only did she get used to the post-it poetry I tapped to cash register, she looked forward to see what I would post next.
I cooked up a skillet full of venison spaghetti sauce and had everything ready to warm up, knowing that I can’t cook and visit with friends at the same time; another idiosyncrasy that complicates my ability to be a good host. Of course a rest was scheduled into the preparations after cleaning the kitchen and whether or not it resulted in a nap.
As the dinner hour drew closer, I took off my black merino wool long johns and put on some dressier pants (also black). I called my husband, who is more socially skilled than I am, to make sure he wasn’t going to be late. Then, I lit a candle for ambiance and got out my notebook to write this all down.
The truth is, even though it always turns out better than I think it will; I’d rather write about hosting a dinner than to actually do it.
Post Note: We had a wonderful evening. It was worth every bit of preparation! The photo is of Juniper and I, taken at the Saddle Overlook on the Blue Ridge Parkway where my husband and I were married.
February 24th, 2006 9:42 am
You worked in a BEAD shop??? I’m so jelous! I LOVE beads. I like to be hostess, but it tends to stress me out. I’m better off going to a restaurant.
February 24th, 2006 9:42 am
Oops. Michele sent me!
February 24th, 2006 10:00 am
You Underestimate yourself. I have had your prepared meals and they are delish!!! The company perfect and you always are one hell of hostess, making everyone feel special and loved! xoxo
February 24th, 2006 10:27 am
That is a wonderful photo. And I loved that line, “I’d rather be writing about a dinner party than hosting one.” I actually like hosting parties -a lot – but I also think writing about doing anything is the best part.
February 24th, 2006 10:53 am
I can relate to your hostess abilities, although I am not writing poetry otherwise… The thing is my husband is a hobby cook and simply loves an audience so he is the one doing the cooking when we have friends over, I set the table, get the candles and play DJ. I don’t think I would feel confident to invite people over if I was cooking… I would call a catering service, I am that bad a cook!
February 24th, 2006 10:55 am
Lovely picture, forgot to mention
February 24th, 2006 12:13 pm
That’s such a happy picture!
I have about one “dinner party” a year, around Halloween. It is alot of work!
February 24th, 2006 12:33 pm
I want to know what you made for dinner…LOL! Glad it was a great success, Colleen…
BTW, “Sweetie” didn’t move one paper on that table…THAT was how we left things at the moment…(lol)
February 24th, 2006 1:09 pm
I can relate to this post so very much. I too am not the hostess with the mostess. The main reason being.. that I just have never had any interest in cooking. Thank goodness my hubby is good in the kitchen :-).
February 24th, 2006 1:30 pm
I am with you on the hostessing. It is nerve-wracking and it is pure craziness the way it drives me insane.
happy weekend!
February 24th, 2006 1:54 pm
I can host kids birthday parties. Anything adult and my skills go out the window. My cooking ability leaves much to be desired. Sounds like you had a good time.
February 24th, 2006 3:38 pm
I love to be the hostess. It exhausts me and stresses me out, but the fun of planning a dinner party or a brunch and the joy of welcoming my guests into my home makes it all worthwhile. There’s a little Martha Stewart lurking around in me, I must confess…
February 24th, 2006 11:25 pm
I am not a great cook and I stress terribly at the thought of hosting a dinner for 4 or more, but once I have done it I enjoy the process and the evenings always seem to go well. Mr. kenju can only boil water (just barely) and scramble an egg (if you like them over-cooked).
Love that photo! The hills are alive!
February 25th, 2006 8:11 am
the picture looks like the two of you were auditioning for the Sound of Music!
February 25th, 2006 9:50 am
Hi Colleen michele sent me…
It’s all about making the effort..not the actual outcome.
It’s the thought that counts.
🙂
February 25th, 2006 11:26 am
I’d rather do a dinner party aka casually hanging out, than anticipate one myself.
February 26th, 2006 5:15 pm
We have another one to add to the list. Not being able to cook and visit at the same time! I’m laughing because my favorite entertaining dish is a beef stew that I make in the morning and throw in the crockpot. Then all I have to do is buy some nice bread to slice when the meal is served and scoop out the stew when it’s time to eat. This way, I can enjoy my company without trying to figure out how to cook at the same time. Knowing that attempting to do both together would inevitably lead to one of the two not getting my full attention…either the meal or the company. I often marvel at how others do both so well. The list is ever growing! Love you.
March 1st, 2006 5:53 am
I know what you mean. I love to spend the time with friends,b ut it always takes a great deal of planning for me to have dinner guests. Although I find the more I do it the easier it gets.