Baby You Can Drive My Car
On Friday morning, I drove two hours to have an unlikely picnic with my husband, Joe. We drove past Grayson Highland State Park where we had hiked and picnicked before, past the Creeper Trail in Damascus, Virginia, where camped and biked two years ago.
I’m not big on driving. He usually does it. But this morning was different.
At the picnic table on the lawn of the Higher Education Center in Abington, where a Radford University psychology conference was being held, I opened a Tupperware container full of roast chicken, carrots and potatoes and said to my husband about the drive, “That was my version of you driving me to Boston last summer.”
Last summer I had planned a 13 hour solo trip to Massachusetts in our truck camper to visit my family and to camp on my own. The morning I was set to embark I was stricken with anxiety at the thought of driving and was preparing to cancel my plans when Joe stepped forward and offered to drive me. He drove the 13 hours, attended a family 4th of July picnic and left the next day on a plane, leaving me with the truck camper. Three weeks later, he flew back and drove me home! 
Now it was my turn to do something for Joe. Time was short. He had a rough week at work, was tired, and scheduled to present an “Introduction into Meditation” class at the conference. I escorted him to the conference so that he could prepare his presentation as we drove, and so that he could practice some of his own mindfulness medicine, so as to be in the right frame of mind to teach such a class.
After we ate, he went on to teach his class. I set up my computer in the Conference lounge to do some writing and try to get comfortable. Two hours later, when we met up again, he asked me how it went.
“Writing in a lounge is like trying to sleep on a bus. I sleep better in my own bed in my own house. I write better at home too,” I answered.
Even so, I was thrilled to help Joe for a change. But I’m realistic. Because of my driving anxiety and my limited energy stores, I’m never going to be able top Joe’s driving me to back and forth to Boston.
“This is probably the best you’re going to get,” I told him. He smiled and graciously accepted the gift.
After his presentation, Joe’s energy returned. So guess who drove home?
June 11th, 2006 12:34 pm
That was nice of him. What type of meditation does he teach?
June 11th, 2006 1:08 pm
He calls it mindfullness. He presented an introduction to counselors and students based on a combination of several techniques. We both do passage mediation as taught by Esknath Eswaran. I did TM in the past and he did Vipassana and still does sometimes.
June 11th, 2006 3:17 pm
While waiting for my arrival at Sea-Tac airport over the Memorial Day weekend, my parents struck up a conversation with a man whose wife had anxiety about flying. He had traveled all the way to Seattle with her so she wouldn’t be as scared, and when my parents met him he was waiting to meet her so they could fly home together. Home for them turned out to be Bethlehem, PA — the next town over from where I live!
June 11th, 2006 6:51 pm
Sounds like you had great times!! I LOVE driving, which is a good thing since I have made the drive from Colorado to Phoenix many times on my own (which is about 13 hours) with the dd in tow!!
Stopping by this afternoon to say Hello, Michele sent me!!
June 11th, 2006 6:57 pm
What a blessing that you were able to have that time together. I love stories like this: it reconfirms why I so love being married in the first place.
I think we’re due for a picnic this week. An impromptu one. Stay tuned.
June 11th, 2006 9:06 pm
I wouldn’t compare absolute numbers re hours of driving — I’ll bet that the proportion of mental and physical energy you expended relative to your resources is comparable to his. And that makes for a wonderful partnership.
June 11th, 2006 11:28 pm
Michele sent me to visit you, Colleen.
I don’t like to drive either. I used to go up to NY from GA to visit my parents a few times a year and that’s a 18 hour drive. These days the longest drive I do is my brother’s place in GA which is 6 hours from where I live in NC but more common is my parent’s retirement home in SC which isn’t that far from where you live, Colleen though it’s 4 hours from me.
Writing is a lot more fun than driving! I am in agreement with you!
June 11th, 2006 11:43 pm
Yeah that was so generous of Joe. Thanks Joe for being you.
Looking forward to our trip to Virginia in a couple of weeks. Guess who’s driving?
June 12th, 2006 10:07 am
I know about TM, but the other are unfamiliar to me. I should get back into it, I know.
June 12th, 2006 10:32 am
Very cool little driving gifts you gave each other.
June 12th, 2006 8:09 pm
that’s true love 🙂
June 13th, 2006 8:35 am
Hey he understands.
Funny, Martin makes ME drive everywhere. He is too slow for me and he hates driving so it gets left up to me 99% of the time. The 1% comes when he is being my DD!
June 14th, 2006 10:36 am
Wow…I give you credit for even CONSIDERING doing that trip to Mass. on your own.
After doing it (with my husband driving) last week, nope, I know I couldn’t do that.
My daughter has driven from Mass. to VA Beach, alone with 2 of her kids. I gave her kudos on that one last week. Guess she has more courage than I do.
And Joe deserves kudos for coming through for you.
June 14th, 2006 10:39 am
I’ve driven it mmmannnyyy times with two litte kids in the back seat. But never with a truck and camper and of course I’m more fussy now about what I will do and won’t than when I was younger. From VA is 13 hours. I wouldn’t do it from Florida!
June 14th, 2006 12:52 pm
Very thoughtful of Joe. (the picture is precious)
Back in my single days (yes, there were a couple here and there) I used to do all my own driving and really enjoyed it. Nowadays, Ed’s mostly at the wheel and I feel awkward even going on small errands around town.
Driving gifts. What a concept!
June 14th, 2006 12:53 pm
Oops, I just remembered. Whenever we go to Staten Island or into NYC, I take the wheel. It’s easier for me to get from point A to point B because I’m far more familiar (and I only want to kill half the number of drivers Ed would like to kill).