Come Down Off Your Throne
There’s a mad rush in June to get married, graduate, go to a prom, or on a summer vacation. In my own life, I attended my son’s fiancé’s graduation from nursing school in June. It was a large class in a big auditorium. To keep my mind busy during the hour and a half of pomp and circumstance, I found myself studying women’s footwear.
As a girl, it was a rite of passage to go from flats to pumps. We knew we were finally women when we were old enough to wear real high heels. Although most of us wore some sort of raised heel when we wanted to look particularly alluring, only a few dared to go on to spikes and stilettos. I wore platform shoes as teenager, partly because it was stylish but mostly because I wanted to be taller. Even so, I’ve never been comfortable in high heels. (In fact, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’re probably aware that I’m most comfortable barefoot.)
Here’s what I learned from my informal study: The higher the heel, the more waddling, teeter tottering, and flip flopping the women graduates did across the stage to get their diplomas. Not all that much has changed since I was a young woman. As a woman, I want other women to stand firmly on their own two feet and go forth confidently into their futures. But at this particular graduation, only a few wore the kind of shoes that made that seem possible.
On the ride home from the event, I revealed my findings to my husband, Joe, who responded by telling me about a Body Awareness Class he recently attended. Studied in the martial art of Aikido, the teacher stated that the goal of the class was to develop skills that would lead to personal empowerment.
This is what Joe learned: High heels are not empowering for women. You could knock over a woman wearing high heels with one finger.
A pushover? An easy target? Do high heels really make women look more attractive or are we just conditioned to think that? Imagine the impediment if life was a sport and women starting playing in high heels? If women want to be on an equal footing with men, maybe they should stick with a sensible shoe.
June 27th, 2006 9:27 am
LOL! I never wear heels. I usually wear Merrills. My slipper shoes. And, I usually pay a lot for my shoes. I don’t have many pairs, but what I have fit and are comfortable.
Actually, my husband has more shoes than I do. I think it is because he never had shoes that fit growing up….
June 27th, 2006 10:14 am
I’m with you on that! I used to teeter around on 3″ heels when I was in high school, and I was already 5’10. Now I am most comfortable in a pair of Minnetonka driving moccasins – or my chartreuse thong slides.
June 27th, 2006 2:19 pm
I recently took my dad to get a new pair of shoes. I was surprised when he kept talking about how these shoes and those shoes wouldn’t look dressy enough with his suit and that mom wouldn’t like them. My words to him were that at this point in time, comfort and security of tread trump appearance. He finally chose the ones that were comfort inner soles and very sure gripping outer soles. Mom liked them. So, all this was to say, women aren’t the only vain ones. 🙂
June 27th, 2006 3:09 pm
Great post. I remember “practicing” to walk in that first pair of high heels and you’re right, it was a rite of passage.
I never got into the stilettos, etc. Just a 2 or 3 inch. I’m still addicted to shoes…but now a days, most of my purchases are Topsiders, sandals and an open-back clog type shoe. Ah yes….comfort is the name of the game now.
Great analogy on women and standing on their own feet.
June 27th, 2006 5:12 pm
From the shoe fettish girl of all time…….I just had to respond to this. I also find myself looking at shoes a lot. I especially look at them on the way into Boston to and from my work commute. In the bad weather (snow, ice etc) it amazes me what women will wear on their feet. I’m in my waterproof sensible boot walking happily along with warm dry toes and I view heels, mules and even sandals or open toe shoes! I love foot watching. Let’s add this to our list.
June 27th, 2006 5:34 pm
I’ve been standing on my own two feet for years, and sometimes my own two feet happen to be in 4-inch heels. I guess I am the cheese who stands alone regarding this post. A self-avowed shoe freak, I love high heels. Contrarily, I feel empowered in them (maybe that’s because, when I can, I buy well-constructed, sturdy high heels by designers like Manolo Blahnik.) I honestly feel like I could do almost anything in Mr. Blahnik’s shoes that I could do in flip flops or sneakers. I also feel empowered knowing I could jam my stiletto into somebody’s big toe in self defense. 🙂
That being said, though, I also have lots of flats, flip flops, Birkenstocks, and sneakers that I wear. For me, I guess, it’s about moderation.
June 27th, 2006 7:19 pm
Oh, I’m sure we all have and do wear some sort of high heel on the right occassions, ( I know my shoe-loving sister Trish does), but some of us more clumsy people probably shouldn’t! And there is always the dominatrix factor to figure in when talking about high heels.
I like to do informal surveys…who does or doesn’t wear seatbelts and that sort of thing. Seatbelt use gets people more riled up than shoe talk, I’ve noticed.
June 27th, 2006 11:32 pm
I’ve always been self-conscious about claiming my height (5’9″). Thus, I spent most of my life in flat shoes, and slouching whenever I stood next to a shorter man. A couple of years ago, I bought my first pair of high heeled boots. I teetered; I tottered, but I also felt glamourous–and yes, empowered.
June 28th, 2006 12:47 am
ah sensible shoes…. will you speak to my darling ( 15 yo) daughter????
June 28th, 2006 5:50 am
Great post, Colleen. I LOVE sandals, sneaker, flip flops or no shoes at all. I am 5’10” and have always favored flat shoes.
Remember…women’s shoes are designed and manufactured by men!! IMHO, it has always been a secret effort by men to keep us just a bit “off balance”.
June 28th, 2006 7:02 am
Colleen, I continue to enjoy your viewpoints on life and living.
High heels have always conveyed an attitude to me, one of being “dressed up”, and in today’s world being “dressed up” is reserved for more formal or celebratory ocasions than work or everyday life.
For many men, shirts and ties have been relegated to the back of the closet except for weddings and funerals.
In today’s world it seems that you are viewed more by what you do and how well you do it than by what clothes you wear while you are doing it.
If one has to wear fancy shoes or clothes to make an impression, it reveals more than they realize about their self confidence. The old saying, “Clothes make the man” was probably coined by a sales manager of the old school.
Where suits are a uniform, as in the big cities and in older corporations at the highest level, the wearing of an expensive suit is no different than the wearing of a Taco Bell uniform. Both say that the wearer is a small cog in a big machine. 🙂
June 28th, 2006 7:55 am
I believe all the myths about high heels…height, thinness, attractiveness….I’m a sucker.
June 28th, 2006 8:27 am
I studied Aikido when I was a teen – you just reminded me about how much I miss it!
I rarely ever wear heels because I can’t run in them. One of my cousins is a police officer and when I was younger he told me that the best defense a woman has against an attacker is to run away if possible, especially since the attacker will probably be a man, and hence, a lot stronger than you.
June 28th, 2006 9:19 am
And what about those neckties?!
I do think high heels look good. But I still feel bad for the actresses at the Academy Awards walking around in their spikes. I just think it’s something to think about.
June 28th, 2006 12:53 pm
Something I keep my eyes on too…shoes and feet (those are cute ones in the picture).
I love wearing heels. When they were called for, I wore them for a good many years, always keeping mindful of the styles. The ones that are “in” now are the same kind I wore as a young woman; which might speak to why I still love the look.
That aside; Joe’s Aikido teacher is correct. Not only do they give a woman the disadvantage for the reasons he stated, they also wreck havic for proper back alignment. This too adds to the loss of power (physically speaking).
Today I go for the lower heels, or dressy flats. When I’m not dressed up, I like to be barefoot also.
Love Kathy, another of your shoe fettish sisters.
June 28th, 2006 3:41 pm
collleen, another lovely thought provoking post 🙂
i wrote a whole post about my love of shoes a while back! with a photo of my 76 pairs.. its grown by at least 5 since then oops!
so… when i was young and rabidly independent i wore mostly flats. but i still wore the odd wonderfully heely shoes. for me my expression of power was to wear whatever i liked when i liked.
i still do this.
in my varied collection, i have 4 inch christian laboutins (which heartbreakingly no longer fit since pregnancy boo hoo), and sturdy walking boots. that women now have the choice to dress and heel ourselves however we like is a triumph we should be very proud of. as is our freedom to go out virtually naked or fully covered if we want to. gone are the days that most of us have to comform to mens desires and sensibilities in able to go about our daily lives. i look forward to the day when we can stop needing worry about to conforming to other womens too.
June 28th, 2006 5:02 pm
I am afraid I was one of those people who loved high heels. i loved the sexy look. I was fairly coordinated and they didn’t hurt my feet. Now it is a totally different story and I think people are crazy to wear them.
June 28th, 2006 6:51 pm
It makes you more needing protection if that counts as defense. It shifts your anatomy to make you more fertile looking, and more of a catch, literally and figuratively.
( I don’t do heels myself. Once for grade 8 graduation and I took them off partway thru. I can wobble as much barefoot with my balance lol.)
June 29th, 2006 7:12 am
When I was working in the city (the 70s and some of the 80s) I wore the obligatory heels in the office, but hoofing it to and from work, I had my trusty sneakers on and the shoes safely tucked under my desk.
During the platform era I was a real shoe hound and wore them high and proud.
Now I suffer from ingrown toenails, a curved foot frame and varicose veins. Thank you very much.
I’m far more comfy in down-to-earth shoes, though I must say that heels do seem to shape the leg a bit more and generally look sexier.
(now, ask me if I care about looking sexy at 51?)
June 30th, 2006 8:14 pm
I gave up my high heels a long time ago and have never looked back. 🙂