A Day Well Spent
Tryptophan is my friend. I woke up this morning at 8:00 a.m. with that sentence in my mind. The capsule of tryptophan (the amino acid found in turkey and milk) that I swallowed at 4 a.m. had made me groggy, but it was worth it. I slept.
Yesterday, I rode out to Ellett Valley in Blacksburg with my friend Elizabeth to meet with a book club group that had read my book, The Jim and Dan Stories. We had lunch first at The Daily Bread Café. I discovered that those pre-made sandwiches wrapped in plastic are actually good. Mine was chicken salad with blue cheese and spinach. Or was it tuna? I’m groggy and … the day’s events … are coming back to me slowly.
We pulled into a nearly hidden dirt driveway along a creek bed that led to a rustic looking shingled house surrounded by woods. By the time all the women had arrived and gathered, there were at least 12 of us. There was tea and cake and big picture windows too look out onto the autumn colored trees. I was only a little nervous, knowing soon I would be giving a “talk.” One woman, who was probably in her 80s, was wearing a “Webb for Senate” button on her dress. Two of the women I actually knew and one was vaguely familiar. I remembered them from when I used to spend a lot of time in Blacksburg, working at the Seeds of Light bead shop. One woman had a thicker Boston accent than mine and knew where Nantasket beach was (my hometown beach that figured in the book).
The most memorable comment I received from one of the women was a new one. She was struck by my lack of judgment, regarding the fact that my brother Dan’s death was ultimately a consequence of his behavior. The book made her want to strive to be more forgiving in her own life, she said.
Another woman referred to the photo in the book of me and my siblings (9 of us), saying she had to count us out on-by-one and was sure there must have been some husbands and wives in the crowd. We all laughed, and I recited the childhood prayer from the book while holding up an enlarged copy of the photo: God bless mommy and daddy, Jimmy, Kathy, Colleen, Danny, Sherry, Johnny, Joey, Bobby, and Tricia.
“What did you mean when you said your mother was the physical center that everything happened from and that your father was the heart of your family?” one woman asked. A discussion of woman’s roles and the generational differences between us ensued. This was a group in which some members had been meeting for over 30 years, who were willing to get into life’s deeper issues.
Remember the saying we learned as kids, “Don’t spend all your money in one place?” My energy is like money and I don’t get the same allowance of it that most everyone else does. I left the house yesterday at 11:00 and by the time I got home at 6:00 I was too tired to do the simplest of tasks. But sometimes you just have to spend the bank and trust that what you get back in return will be worth it. It was.
Post Note: Jim and Dan are the bookends in the photo, which goes, backrow: Jim, John, Joey, Bobby, Dan. Front row: Sherry, Colleen, Kathy, Tricia.
Please self-edit any typos in the above entry. I’m off for a mid morning nap, either that or some more caffeine.
October 11th, 2006 10:43 am
This is just the post to spur me along and print out the ordering info to purchase your work. I have it on the do-to list now.
It must be so interesting to learn who is reading your work and then to speak with them about it.
Thanks for your comment about my husband and his “interesting” life, so far. When we were engaged we visited a college roommate of mine in Atlanta enroute to New Orleans on a road trip. She told me if I married my now husband, “Karen, your life will never be boring.” So far, so good!
October 11th, 2006 11:33 am
Wow! What a rewarding day you had, albeit tiring. It was a “good” kind of tired, I always say after I’ve spent my allowance and it’s taken its toll on the fibro muscles! It’s worth the day or 2 spent recovering.
That group of women are very special and their comments were meaningful to you. Wish I could have attended!
October 11th, 2006 11:39 am
It sounds like you get so tired that you can’t sleep. That is not a “fun” tired to have.
October 11th, 2006 11:53 am
Too tired to sleep! Yes, I know that one well. When I get overdone, it can get so bad that I can’t even handle getting a massage because it takes too much energy to receive it. I think everyone knows what pure exhaustion feels like, it just happens to me way sooner than normal and for hardly any reason.
October 11th, 2006 12:16 pm
Mmmmm…turkey. We had ham this year, and I’m kind of regretting it. (I’m referring to Canadian Thanksgiving).
I’m become more and more convinced I should read your book. Soon as there’s room on my Visa. Where can I buy it?
October 11th, 2006 12:21 pm
They have been meeting for 30 years?!? WOW, I bet they have some discussions.
The day is turning gloomy here and I wish I could go cuddle up w. my blankie!
October 11th, 2006 12:22 pm
Have just spent awhile on your author site and read all the samples of both books as well as viewed the pics and reader responses. Wow, it’s all so wonderful and all in synch. You honour your brothers and family in such a real way, nothng could have been more fitting. You have had many signs to follow during the journey. Thanks for sharing all this on your site. Do any of your other siblings write? Were you the closest to your brothers of all the kids?
You must feel very complete and at peace now that all the events have come full circle.
October 11th, 2006 12:39 pm
Tryptophan sounds interesting. So does a reading where people actually have detailed considered questions for discussion. In my experience that seems to happen pretty rarely.
(btw, glad you liked the horses. :))
October 11th, 2006 12:46 pm
Darkly, you can order the book via paypal on my website http://www.silverandgold.swva.net or directly from me: Colleen Redman, 151 Ridge Haven Rd. Floyd VA 24091. It’s $13 plus $2 shipping.
Ruth, Here is a link to a past post on the LOVELINK, http://looseleafnotes.com/notes/2005/06/the_love_link.html. It’s a family email group that got started when my brother Dan was sick. He died 5 years ago and we still talk daily by way of it. From this entry, you can see that we are all close. Being one of nine, I think we all felt we were a part of each other (the whole).
Here’s a link to the biography on my web page that talks about some of the writers in our family line. There are several unpublished novels floating around. http://silverandgold.swva.net/author.htm
As far as my immediate family, my sister Kathy is a blogger http://ben-gal.tripod.com/ and my son just got published in a pottery magazine! Others write too, but I think I have focused on doing it more than other family members. One day, I’ll post the poem my dad wrote when he was in bootcamp in Texas.
Pearl, tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin production. Yesterday wasn’t a reading. I was a guest at a book club group whose members had all read my book, and so I think some had questions in mind that came up while reading the book.
October 11th, 2006 4:01 pm
The tryptophan in turkey really works…
just think how it puts people to sleep after their big Thanksgiving dinner.
On another note…
Thanks Colleen for the mention in your comments section. I’ll add to your response to Ruth: I write only because I have things to say, not really because I am a “writer” in the traditional sense and not in the same way that Colleen is. But then again “having something to say” is what it’s all about, eh? So I guess that I’m “becoming” a writer.
I had always written in my mind, so to speak, but because I never thought of it as a craft per se, I never made the effort (and it is that) to work at it, until I read Colleen’s book. The Jim and Dan Stories filled me with such a longing. Ohhhh how wonderful it would be to be able to use words to get to the emotion. That was something I wanted to do too.
I thank her every day for being able to say so lovingly, and yes without judgment, what I felt also.
What she did in her stories of our brothers was more than an honest telling of their lives/our lives – it was what sparked in me, something that there all along in my Irish blood; a love for art.
And lastly…
I love that picture of all of us together!
October 11th, 2006 9:26 pm
That is a beautiful picture, Colleen…
On another subject. I am going up to see my kids next week. I will be staying over night in Fancy Gap on Thurs. the 19th. Is there any chance that I could take you to breakfast the next morning? I think Floyd is only about 30 minutes away.
It would have to be early and not for a long stay since I have reservations in Maryland for the night. Let me know if it’s possible. I’d love to meet you and I think we have much in common. All the best, Ginnie
October 11th, 2006 9:26 pm
I am so glad you did the post note I wanted to match names to faces…I did pick out you and your sister Kathy.
Rest up…you need your energy for tomorrow!
October 11th, 2006 9:40 pm
I would think that it must be very rewarding to be able to discuss your book with others. Way to go!
October 12th, 2006 3:10 am
This sounds like such a rewarding meeting Colleen…I loved that one women saying that you were so forgiving and she wanted to be more forgiving…And the other question was a great one, too…
Do you find with your physical problem that sometimes emotional encounters are more tiring than physical ones? Although I know our ‘problems’ are different, I have found this to be trus, quite often.
October 12th, 2006 4:19 am
A rewarding if tiring day. I think tryptophan is also in peanuts, soy, and eggs. Wishing you good rest.
October 12th, 2006 9:59 am
Thanks for the long, tiring day devoted to further informing me and the book club members about you and your work. They rarely have a chance to talk directly with an author. I urge you to have a standard sentance you can fall back on to imply that an honorarium would be accepted. From long experience, I know many never think of offering unless the person in question raises the issue. I felt that I should have raised it, but my life has been so tumultuous that it slipped my mind. Every artist has a right to ask for financial remuneration. If money isn’t available, we can deal with it then.You bring wonderful energy to a meeting of curious minds. Thanks you so much. I’m glad the weather was nice.
October 12th, 2006 10:26 am
Thank you, Elizabeth for setting the meeting up and for lunch! The whold day was very memorable for me and I was happy to do it!
October 12th, 2006 2:52 pm
Hi Colleen: I really hope this works out for Friday the 20th. I think it would be just as easy for me to come right into Floyd…if you have a breakfast place there. Then I could get on Rt 8 direct to 81 North after.
8:30 or 9 would actually be better, if that’s not too early for you….because that would mean I wouldn’t have to rush and could still get to Hagerstown before dark.
I hope this gets to you. I hate to spell this all out on our open Blogs. Also, I want to buy your book so be sure to bring one. Talk to you soon.