Woman’s Shame
I’m reading tonight at the Hafla, a celebration of women’s dance, music, and poetry, held at the Black Box Theater in Floyd. Here’s a little preview of a poem I may read …
Woman’s Shame
Shame of liking sex too much
Shame of not liking it enough
Shame of having too many children
Having none, or too many abortions
Shame of bleeding
Shame of not bleeding anymore
Shame of a mother who works a job
Shame of one who stays home
Shame of being a married possession
Shame of being an ugly duckling
Shame of being full-breasted
Shame of being flat-chested
Shame of being too submissive
Shame of being to aggressive
Madonna or Whore
is a too tight shoe to wear
And shame is a blame game
that I’m not playing
~ Colleen Redman
Post Notes: “Woman’s Shame” was written in the early 90’s and performed at poetry readings later in that decade by “Women of the 7th Veil,” a Floyd improv-movement and poetry troupe, which consisted of my friends, Jayn and Katherine, and me (see photo HERE). The poem has also been previously published in “We’moon.”
December 15th, 2006 9:30 am
Yes. Definitely.
December 15th, 2006 9:35 am
i have one to add….shame of breastfeeding, due to the recent news of a nursing mom getting kicked off of an airline flight. someone even had the gall to say she was only nursing b/c she liked exposing herself in public…….huh? i really like the poem….and very true- someone always thinks you should be doing something differently, especially when you are a mom, it seems….and they think it’s their responsibility to tell you. good luck at your reading tonight!!!
December 15th, 2006 9:56 am
Thanks! This is a poem that is fun to read with another. In the past, Katherine and I read the alternating lines while Jayn moved to it. I also read it years ago at an open mic at Eden Fest and afterwards another woman poet came up and said “You Go Girl!” It was the first time I had heard the saying…it was new at the time.
Another time, when the Appalachian Woman’s Caravan came through Floyd and did readings at a local restaurant, and it was my turn to read, the room was noisy and not many were paying attention. I spoke into the mic, “Now I’m going to talk about SEX,” and everyone dropped their forks and closed their mouths. (The first line had the word sex in it so it qualified.)
I thought it was awful about the woman getting kicked off the plane for breastfeeding! Shame of breastfeeding has the opposite element too. I bet some women who choose to feed their babies with formula also feel some shame.
December 15th, 2006 10:57 am
You could go on forever: shame of being too fat, shame of being too thin…it’s all about accepting outselves first, I guess!
December 15th, 2006 4:00 pm
I like this poem and you could go on.
I think it is unreal the story about the breastfeeding Mom. Why can’t people just mind their own business.
The world is becoming to un-natural!!!!
December 15th, 2006 6:06 pm
Wish I could be there to hear you! The poem is bittersweet.
Susan
December 15th, 2006 9:10 pm
Dress up and c’mon over and have a couple of glasses of Dom and giggles 🙂
December 15th, 2006 11:14 pm
This is kind of a “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” situation, and I have known women on both sides of every issue.
Michele sent me tonight.
December 15th, 2006 11:24 pm
Nodding throughout. I was very happy to see full acceptance earlier today when someone in my mixed-gender critique group very tastefully (for the baby, too, I’m sure!) breastfed her new daughter while listening to our critique of her story. This poem makes me think also of Marge Piercy’s “For Strong Women”
http://www.breakoutofthebox.com/strongwomen.htm
— especially her section that reads, “A strong woman is a woman in whose head/a voice is repeating, I told you so,/ugly, bad girl, bitch, nag, shrill, witch,/ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,/why aren’t you feminine, why aren’t/you soft, why aren’t you quiet, why aren’t you dead?”
December 15th, 2006 11:41 pm
Wow,that’s powerful stuff! I enjoyed reading Marge Piercy’s memoir “Sleeping with Cats.”
I started to get cold feet about reading that poem in mixed public tonight, but I did and it really was the right venue for it, a celebration of women in the arts. I’ll be posting some wild photos sometime tomorrow!
December 16th, 2006 3:44 am
LOVE that poem Colleen…And I can certainly relate…You write so beautifully and convey so very much with just a few words…AMAZING, my dear!
Hope it went well….!
December 16th, 2006 10:13 am
Poignant words. Thank goodness, the older I get, the less shame I feel.. but there was a time I felt many of these.
December 16th, 2006 4:04 pm
These are all so true. We walk on a fine tightrope, betwixt and between, teetering at best….sometimes a Catch 22 …no win. Interesting.
We shouldn’t buy into this but we so often do.
December 18th, 2006 12:45 am
Love the We’moon. Been keeping my eye on them since college…
-TL
December 18th, 2006 9:16 am
And isn’t it odd that all of us (women)has some part of that poem hit home with us? What a shame!
October 9th, 2013 10:39 pm
[…] Speaking of shoes and sex, THIS may well be my most published poem. It was published in WeMoon and since then has turned up in […]