Caution: Blogger Crossing
AKA: Computers aren’t the only things with hard drives that crash.
My blog is the driving force behind my writing. It’s the place where everything starts, the day to day marriage between my love of the written word and my love of record keeping. If my published writing was a theatre film, my blog would be the DVD, with special features, links to follow, and posted outtakes.
But sometimes I drive myself too hard, juggling all the different aspects of my writing: blog entries, freelanced stories for the Floyd Press, poetry, an occasional Roanoke Times commentary. I’ve recently started contributing a once a week blog post to the online version of New River Voice, a new publication out of Radford. I’ve also been involved in preliminary talks on a new Floyd publication and have signed up to do a first story. In the last few months people have begun to ask me to cover events or have given me leads on stories. I want to collage and frame my small poems, learn desktop publishing, and put some poetry chapbooks together. But my excitement at the endless supply of subject matter I want to explore doesn’t match my physical ability to do so.
Blogging takes the most time. One would think it would be the first thing to drop in looking for ways to slow down. But the informal writing I do here might just be the most personally satisfying. Some of my blogging is actually unwinding, and although my blog doesn’t generate income, it has consistently led to (modest trickles of) income. It’s given me visibility and has provided me with a writing discipline that builds momentum. The learning I’ve experienced and the connections I’ve made with others through blogging these past couple of years have been priceless.
Last week I saw a segment of the Oprah show about a woman who lost 500 pounds. When asked what prompted her to finally lose the weight, she spoke about writing online on message boards, how people enjoyed her wit, how they accepted her and didn’t care how she looked. Her experience interacting with others on the internet pulled her out of herself and made her feel more worthy. I understood what she meant and was touched by it. But I also thought of the many people who wouldn’t understand because they don’t know that relationships formed online can be real and meaningful.
I’m prone to exhaustion and it comes over me easier and more often than it does for most others. Sometimes I’m forced to work from my bed. While my body lies flat, my mind floats in and out of activity and frequently new ideas come. Reaching out, I fumble through the mess of papers spread out on the bed and feel around for my notepad. I write and rest. Rest and write. If I start to feel sorry for myself when my energy sputters or stalls, I think about Laura Hillenbrand, the author with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome who wrote the bestselling book Seabiscuit entirely from her bed. Or I think about my widely published poet and blogger friend, Pris, who also has CFS and whose personality and creativity shine through in spite of it.
A friend recently asked me what my goals as a writer are. My most recent line about my writing of late is that it’s like being in a self-study master’s degree program, one designed to give me experience and shape me into a better writer. But why even want to write better? I hadn’t thought much about what my writing might be leading to. I didn’t have much of an immediate response for my friend, but when I thought about it the next day, the answer came easily.
My current writing goals are these: It has to be fun; I prefer to be paid; I like to show people in their best light and cover stories that are inspiring.
December 3rd, 2007 11:15 pm
Sickness can surely take the mind where minds can’t usually go.
-Pete Townsend.
Blogging is my practice space as well. No income at all yet, but the feedback is pay enough. No writing wasted, it’s all churned and wedged again, until I get the feel of it more and more.
December 4th, 2007 5:36 am
Well said. Non-bloggers still don’t get it, but the more we verbalize why we do it, the better the chances of being able to find the right way to explain its appeal and value.
December 4th, 2007 7:45 am
I like the “self-study master’s degree program” idea. I have a book called “The Portable MFA in Creative Writing” that is required reading for my own self-study master’s degree. I also liked your analogy about the blog being the special edition DVD with outtakes and commentary.
December 4th, 2007 9:21 am
I have gotten so wrapped in a world of bloggers and people I actually consider friends that is is hard to imagine people who don’t know anything about it. Even my non-blog friends and family visit my blog, and yours and a few other of my friends they have met through comments. My best friend Sharon reads you almost daily…we use you for our mountain top news room! And we just like you and your writings!
December 4th, 2007 9:32 am
I feel the same way about you, Deana! But yesterday I saw a segment of Dr. Phil (while I was in the bed resting) about a 13 year old who is completely addicted to online life at the expense of her real life, and it scared me. She is involved in a virtual world where you buy stuff, have boyfriends etc. Sort of like we used to play paper dolls, but this medium is addictive. Her mother said it’s like her crack. Of course Dr. Phil said pull the plug entirely until she can manage it better.
December 4th, 2007 9:59 am
I love my blogging, I really do. But have to say, if something has to go with my writing career, it’ll be the blog. I don’t want that to happen though…so now and then I take breaks from it.
My goal is very simple….simple but not easy. When I won First Place a few weeks ago and the Royal Palm Award for my unpublished manuscript, Seeking Sydney, from the Florida Writers Asso. I knew pursuing the goal of finding an agent and getting that published is what it’s really all about for me. I have a message in that novel and I want it OUT there.
December 4th, 2007 10:26 am
That’s great news, Terri! And hopefully the recognition will help you in finding an agent and publisher for the book.
I’m not a novelist myself and am currently enjoying writing locally from where I am. I’ve always been interested in independent outlets for publication because, for one thing, I find pursuing mainstream publishing so exhausting and slow moving, but you certainly have the drive and the talent to take it on.
December 4th, 2007 1:16 pm
You’re so right, Colleen. Mainstream publishing is so exhausting and slow-moving. I’m in one of those phases and I turn to blog-reading and writing as a way to distract myself, as well as be inspired. 10 years ago I was a chat room addict, but I met my husband through the Beach Boys chat room, and after that found it easier to disengage. I have many good on-line friends whom I arrange to meet if we’re in the same geographic area. so I don’t really distinguish between on and off-line folks anymore. There are just people I haven’t met in person yet.
December 4th, 2007 3:06 pm
When I was a teenager I had a major crush on Brian Wilson and would listen to the 45 “Don’t Worry Baby” over and over. I think the act of doing that led to the manifestation of my first boyfriend who looked like Brian.
My theory on writing is to keep plugging away at what I do and trust that every sustained effort eventually bears fruit. I’ve seen it happen over time. I wrote about that here: http://looseleafnotes.com/notes/2007/07/a_universal_law.html
December 4th, 2007 3:31 pm
Very very interesting Post, Colleen….For me Blogging has been a kind of Life-Saver….Given my health issues now and my “confinement”, it has been a wonderful place for me to express myself through writing and photography, etc….AND, I love that I have met so very many wonderful people through this amazing thing we call Blogging. Almost nobody in my former life, with a few exceptions, read my blog….I visited with people who are very very old friends last week…I have known them since 1954…They live in New York…They have NEVER even been on my blog, once! It is just not something they “get”….even though it would be a way for us to stay in closer touch. And they do go on The Net, but I don’t think they even understand what a blog is….! I find that fascinating, in a way….
I think it is wonderful that you continue your blog and feel the way you do about it….Bless You, for that Colleen, because I for one would feel a terrible terrible loss, if you stopped blogging….! You are such a wonderful writer, my dear, and a joy to know.
December 4th, 2007 3:35 pm
Thanks for visiting me over at my blog.
Who would ever have thought that The Beach Boys could change lives? I certainly wouldn’t be sitting here now writing this if it wasn’t for them.
And thanks for the encouragement. It always helps to hear it from another writer.
December 4th, 2007 4:27 pm
You could’ve written the bits about blogging in this post from the inside of my head. The relationships I’ve gained from the simple act of keeping a diary online are what keeps me coming back to it, day after day. They may be virtual friendships, but in most cases, they are more real to me than those in the face-to-face world.
Blogging for me is an outlet, sometimes a creative one, always an emotional one. It’s become a way of life. And whenever I think of giving it up, it feels like a sacrifice I’m not yet willing to make.
December 4th, 2007 4:28 pm
You’re so right, Colleen, and people who don’t write or read blogs have no idea! They think I am crazy to spend as much time as I do on the computer. If they only knew…..
December 4th, 2007 5:02 pm
Sounds like achievable concrete goals.
December 5th, 2007 6:01 am
I love blogging and meeting new people via blogosphere, but I increasingly find I put so much into the posts that my “real” writing suffers – so much time is spent blogging, both writing and visiting that not much time is left in the day for my fiction. Clearly, I have yet to find the balance! I also realised with my recent illness that I really do need to spend less time in front of my pc – it just ain’t healthy! Tough calls.
December 5th, 2007 8:12 am
Clearly it is all about balance. I do not know how anyone can be a writer without being a liver (oops, you know what I mean here.) It is the ups and downs of real living that give the impetus and truth to any writing. But as far a friendships go, I still feel odd calling people I have never met, friends. And yet, the blogs I read are written by fascinating and lovely people that I wish lived next door!
December 5th, 2007 8:35 pm
I love what you wrote here. As you know, I’m not a professional writer, but blogging has been a godsend for me too. It’s allowed be to meet all kinds of people who love to communicate in all sorts of way, it’s allowed me to experiment as a writer and even CONSIDER myself a writer for the first time in my life. And even through times where I have hardly any energy at all, or when wayyyy down low, I can always sit here and find something that’ll touch me or make me laugh, or in any case, make me feel connected.