Channeling Heath Ledger
Suddenly awake in the middle of the night, a resounding thought comes to mind: Now I know how easy it was for Heath Ledger to accidentally kill himself.
Granted I was only juggling aspirin, vitamin C, and herbal sleep aid supplements for my flu symptoms, but it was pitch dark, I was groggy, and I couldn’t remember what I had already taken. Impatient and only wanting to sleep through my misery, my arm became Heath Ledger’s, feeling around the bedside table for something to take. I could almost hear his voice say, “Oh, shit,” when he understood what had done, and I wondered if I was only twenty eight years old and under Hollywood star pressure would I likely have something stronger than tryptophan (nature’s own serotonin uptaker) and Valerian within arm’s reach?
Now I was really doomed. My mind had been activated and the thinking continued, not what I wanted to be doing at 3 a.m. I started thinking about how the more diluted homeopathic remedies are the stronger they are supposed to be and how so many mainstream medications end up having a rebound effect, causing the very symptoms they are treating. I remembered this past summer when I took heavy duty painkillers for a painful abscessed tooth. The first pill gave me such relief, but when it wore off I felt worse than before I took it and soon needed a larger dose to get the same result.
My arm kept groping, as I thought how far down the rabbit hole we have fallen, with drugs being sold on TV like they were candy, vaccines being developed for everything imaginable. No one is supposed to get old or be sick anymore, I thought.
I found a cough drop. Unwrapped it and popped it my mouth. I don’t remember what happened after that.
Post note update: The morning after channeling Heath Ledger’s arm, I checked Sunday Scribblings and discovered that the weekend writing prompt was “SLEEP.” Feeling the prompt was custom made for me, with pen in hand, I began the exercise. Now my hand is being inhabited by author of Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg. Coaching me not to let the pen lift of the page, just write … keep your pen moving … she said. “But Natalie, I’m so tired. I didn’t sleep well last night,” I complained.
February 16th, 2008 12:06 pm
You were channeling all right – Heath – and the Sunday Scribblings….LOL
Good job!
February 16th, 2008 1:07 pm
Trouble is when you feel that lousy, you don’t care what becomes you! This is true no matter where you are. I was once on a plane – air sick like I’ve never been before or since (thank God!). I remember thinking I didn’t care if the plane crashed. I just wanted to be out of my misery.
February 16th, 2008 1:21 pm
not saying I’m getting old. Not saying that. But I stood in the bathroom yesterday trying to remember what meds I had taken. Just saying. But I’m not getting old.
February 16th, 2008 2:04 pm
Scary, isn’t it?
February 16th, 2008 4:25 pm
Yes, it is scary!!
What a thought about Heath Ledger.
February 16th, 2008 4:58 pm
it makes me sad every time i think about it… both about heath ledger’s death and the whole prescription medicine craze.
February 16th, 2008 5:02 pm
Now you know why those little plastic pill holders have the days of the week on them. Once upon a time, our underpants had the days of the week printed on them…
February 16th, 2008 9:24 pm
i really enjoyed this.. i agree we live in a topsy tervy world… one cannot even be a child anymore without being prescribed something to make them more manageable… it is a sad state of affairs…..
February 16th, 2008 10:56 pm
thank goodness you didn’t get mixed up, that is awfully scary. Hope your flu is better.
February 17th, 2008 8:03 am
Thanks for this Colleen. I’ve been baffled and disheartened by the recent spate of deaths due to prescription medication. Since I rarely even have need for an aspirin, I’d never thought about the disorientation that comes with waking in pain in the middle of the night, just seeking anything to help.
February 17th, 2008 8:53 am
this is soooo very true- people speculate but true
February 17th, 2008 9:32 am
Your blog continues my previous rant on anti-depression medication. If you watch any TV at all, and you start counting the times a medication is advertised, you will be shocked. As the richest society in the world…we certainly are the un-healthiest. I also remember one time when I had a severe case of food poisoning and was not near any good hospital. After almost a week of not being able to hold anything down, I also reached the point of not caring whether I lived or died…just something to stop the vomiting.
February 17th, 2008 9:54 am
I don’t know if you saw this http://looseleafnotes.com/notes/2007/10/putting_the_hospitable_back_in.html Tabor. It’s a deeper look at this subject. I submitted it for a Roanoke Times commmentary but they have yet to use it.
February 17th, 2008 3:31 pm
Great post! I worry about children and young adults taking meds for everything under the sun. Scary proposition. I’ve never counted the commercials in an hour of TV but they all appear to be pushing meds to make a person perfect with pages of side effects. Scary, for sure!
February 17th, 2008 5:04 pm
Very sobering thoughts.
~S
February 17th, 2008 6:20 pm
I could’ve written this myself. I had such a lousy night yesterday. I had a huge migraine, the type that you can’t even fall asleep it hurts so bad, plus I wasn’t sleepy and even more I was sad. I don’t usually mix pills but sometimes I get such bad insomnia and it’s so despairing I sort of understand how one can take “just another one” to try and be better.
February 17th, 2008 7:24 pm
Very insightful. I think that people should not keep medications near the bed….that way they at least have a bit of a chance of waking up more. Setting aside the proper thing while alert could also help. The easiest strategy would be having a loved one who is feeling perfectly well give you the proper dosages.
February 18th, 2008 6:33 am
I need to go to sleep now. I got a massive cold which prevents me from getting a good sleep.
Very interesting post.
snooze time, baby!
February 18th, 2008 9:24 am
Just keep the pen moving. Yep, just like one foot after the other keeps people out of those golf carts for mobility…
February 27th, 2008 1:16 pm
So funny to read this post today! I am home with the flu and also juggling pills and potions. My doctor told me off for mixing up two things that unblock the nose … I didn’t read the small print. Oops. Too much of those medications can cause all kinds of nastiness! 🙂