Over My Head
I suspect that some of my friends are planning an intervention. I’ve recently had to cancel a few dates with them because I’ve been so busy covering stories, taking pictures and writing, and generally getting so wound up that I have to rest in between each activity and every chance I get.
Excitement can be a form of stress, which makes me wonder if the stories I’ve recently worked on had been boring would I be in better shape now? In the past week I’ve covered Tour de Floyd, the Young Actors Coop’s new play, and best selling environmental author Bill Mckibben’s visit to Floyd (story in the Floyd Press this Thursday), back-to-back. All are events that are personally exciting to me, ones that I want to cover, ones that make me forget while I’m covering them that my ability to function is compromised by a longstanding case Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
It’s not that I’ve been working too much; it’s that I’ve been working too much for me. I’ve taken to sleeping with wrist braces to stave off early signs of carpal tunnel, to eating peanut butter out of the jar on the run, and to noticing how one day of not doing kitchen chores gives the appearance that I live in squalor. I’ve been using my laptop more, reclining in my bed while typing and thinking about how the author of Sea Biscuit, who also has Chronic Fatigue, wrote her best selling book that way.
A few years ago when I was still on dial-up, two of my girlfriends had been trying to reach me on the phone for a couple of hours when I was online, so they walked over my house to personally pull the plug. I eventually convinced them to stop asking me how many hours I’ve spent on the computer and to ask instead, ‘how many hours of work did you get done today?’
But it’s not that I need to get off the computer because writing by hand hurts my wrist too (and so does weeding in the garden, chopping vegetables and everything else). Writing can be fun and relaxing or hard work. Either way involves occupational hazard. Even so, as I type this, feeling burned out and ragged, I can’t help imaging that my girlfriends are on their way over to help me set some limits.
June 1st, 2009 9:23 am
Mr. kenju is forever telling me to get off the computer, too. I don’t see why, since it keeps me out of trouble. Tell that to your friends….LOL
June 1st, 2009 11:04 am
Fortunately my hubby is now outside weed eating the flower beds. If he knew I was in here AGAIN on the PC he would probably dray me outside.
June 1st, 2009 2:43 pm
Freelancing can take a lot out of you. I miss the deadlines and the stories and getting out to meet people, but my wrist feels a lot better than it has in a long time.
June 1st, 2009 4:28 pm
But, but, but… aren’t people who are actively and enthusiastically engaged in life supposed to live longer?
I have an award for you.
June 1st, 2009 5:01 pm
I know you can set limits on your own. . . . And just remember this is a busy time and you are enjoying it. xoxo
PS I trust you and know you will get some rest this week.
June 1st, 2009 5:08 pm
A day with Bryce today was just what the doctor ordered. Although I was tired he also renewed me.
June 1st, 2009 8:40 pm
groan oh no .. I didn’t see the signs- almsot too late– sigh Bryce .super baby to the rescue !!!sandy
June 2nd, 2009 5:24 am
yup – sounds like rest is in the cards for you, girl. your blog friends can get by with a couple of photo posts!
i know about auto-immune issues from experience, and we have to be careful since our bodies are already working in stress mode.
June 2nd, 2009 9:02 am
yes, a matter of balance and trade-offs.
partly want to strike while opportunities are there and some energy uses reward with more mind energy and encouragement. a penalty box of time off for body hardly seems necessary, until body gets adamant and no one wants that
June 2nd, 2009 10:37 am
Ha! On top of all that I was one in group interviewed on live radio and put the Museletter together all in the same weekend.
June 2nd, 2009 9:50 pm
I completely understand. And I thought the other day that my posts are just boring points with all the fun and personality I started with just gone. The “work too much for me” line is what I have to tell people all the time when they don’t seem to get why I am stressed and I don’t have a FT job. Biting off too many pieces of cake and then feeling like you have to keep the home, etc. going the same way gets to me. I wanted a simpler life. I wanted to take time out to notice and appreciate things. I hate feeling like a tired lump pushing through each day to get to the next. Mine should be behind me hopefully and life can go back to normal. Fingers crossed!