The Bloom of Silence
My favorite part of the woman’s dialogue I belong to is the first few moments when we sit in silence and the chatter and activity of my life falls away.
From the silence I arrive with no agenda and drop the baggage of personality and routine. I’d like to talk about the poetry of spring, the redbud tree I just planted, or my grandson, but that’s not what the silence reveals for me. Instead, I notice a pang of anxiety about how little time is left as my life plays out. I’m aware of how time is blurring together, as the past, present, and future merge and the anchors of my life have lifted. So where do I want to go with this time? I’ve never been here before. There’s so much to see that I’ve not seen before and so much to remember.
We don’t come together as a circle of women to talk about the weather, our health issues, our families, politics, or latest new recipe (although any of those subjects could come up). We come to delve into our inner lives, a subject we rarely make the space for and hardly ever explore with others.
As the dialogue goes around, it deepens. Roots are followed and themes branch out. Experiment. Refresh. Desire. Trust. Our rich colors and stories are witnessed. No advice is given or taken.
Dialogue means conversation and both words imply “talk.” But mostly we come to listen, to ourselves and to others. The more we listen the more we discover that that we are parts of a whole and that each woman’s story reflects something of our own.
If the circle was a flower, each of us would be a petal, going from bud to bloom, from bloom to fruition, from fruition to completion, and back to bud again. Dialogue is a way to nurture the cycles of our lives and to appreciate the art of living.
Note: More about the Dialogue HERE.
April 11th, 2010 6:56 am
this sounds like such a magnificent opportunity for growth. you are lucky to have such a fine resource of women organized and available.
i share a similar anxiety about the “rest” of my life. time seems to be flying, doesn’t it? it is hard for me to belive 1/3 of this new year is already gone.
April 11th, 2010 9:28 am
Yes, so fast. Screens go up, screens come down, and then go up again.
April 11th, 2010 9:37 am
What a great entry Coll.
I feel like this too, but I have no one to really talk to as you do.
April 11th, 2010 9:48 am
It’s great to hear other’s stories because it helps you put yours in perspective. We can talk when I come in June.
April 11th, 2010 11:04 am
You are so fortunate to have a group like this, Colleen. Seems like we spend so much time in more superficial chatter (which has its place, of course) that we sometimes fail to see the truth of who people are and maybe even the truth of who we are. And I love that you start with silence—there’s far too little of that these days, too.
I keep thinking of “Revelation” by Robert Frost that begins with:
“We make ourselves a place apart
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But…oh…the agitated heart
‘Til someone finds us really out…”
April 11th, 2010 4:39 pm
Thank you for sharing this….and I hope you will continue to talk about it. Life does go by REALLY quickly.
April 11th, 2010 4:40 pm
Oh…and I am visiting via Netchick. It’s kind of quiet over there.
April 11th, 2010 9:03 pm
It’s telling that it is extremely rare for men to engage in similar groups ….
April 13th, 2010 1:15 am
This sounds like a truly wonderful “meeting” of people–in this case women….So little attention is paid to our inner selves—-in a general way. Making time for this in one’s life can be ‘life-saving’.
April 13th, 2010 8:52 am
I was struck when reading this that the silence lead you to pay attention to your fears about time. I admire how brave you are to approach such a topic. I am a coward when it comes to my own feelings about time and purpose. This is probably why I try as hard as I can to stay away from silence. Maybe if I had a group of women to help me listen, it might be less horrific to me. This sounds both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.
April 13th, 2010 9:25 am
It can be terrifying to let fears surface and name them. What I like about the group is that we have built trust and when we speak I think we all understand that what we say is only an aspect of self and not what defines us. My thought is that the fears are there anyways effecting us. In naming them and bringing them out into the open I hope they have less hold on us. I rarely stop moving (even when I am stopped by foot is shaking) and when I do the first thing I often notice is how deeply fatigued I feel. That is a reality that is sometimes hard to face.
April 14th, 2010 10:20 pm
That’s a wonderful outlet, and inlet, to have in your life.