Loose Leaf Notes

When I’m searching for something to blog about and I’m feeling uninspired, I’m like a doctor with a hammer trying to get a reflex. When I finally land on an idea that has some kick to it, I know I’ve hit the right one. ~ Colleen

When I first started writing I didn’t know that I was a writer.

Occasionally when something of mine was published I would think, ‘Well that was a fun fluke. Now I’ll go back to my real life.’

Inevitably I’d start writing again and would soon have a new finished product. This happened often enough that I finally began to trust that I could write, that I would write, and that there was always more to say. But it took years for me to believe when I made a breakthrough with my writing that I could repeat it.

Sometimes something similar happens with blog writing. Usually I have more than enough ideas on what to post and have a number of drafts waiting to be worked on. Even so, occasionally I come to place when I finish a post, hit PUBLISH, and all my motivation and ideas just STOP. I push myself away from my desk like I do from the dinner table when I’m full. I get up and wander around the house deciding what to do next.

For a few hours I almost believe that my blogging days might be over. The thought of it makes me feel partly relieved and partly terrified. The kitchen needs cleaning and the cellar floor needs sweeping. But these tasks don’t hold my attention. If I didn’t write so much, what else would I do?

It doesn’t take long for my mind to start scanning for new material. But I feel like a car out of gas, planning for trips that I don’t have the energy to take. I’d like to enjoy being idle, but I’m intimidated by a looming sense of dead end. I’m tired and don’t want to write, but writing is what makes me feel better.

If my dilemma goes on long enough I break down and pick up a pen. I start writing about what it feels like not to be writing. And soon I really am.

-The above is a reprint from a 2007 post.