The View from the Floor
A dismembered head
stricken with insomnia
has to be carried
by a weakened body
An unfocused gaze
sees two of everything
Whose voice is in my mouth?
What poison aches in me?
Stripped of function
I don’t know anything
but this underlying truth
and the cost of keeping it together
Every thought like a rock
being pushed uphill
Every unmet task
is a weight I can’t pull
Helplessly stricken
I can still hold a pen
I can describe the point of take-down
the immobility of being pinned
in a long-time nightly wrestle
that I can’t afford to lose
because there is no remedy or rescue
from the hurt of chronic wounds
But I can duck and cover
and I will stand again
by conserving each moment
whether a loss or a win
___________Colleen Redman / Poets United / Imaginary Garden with Real Toads
April 5th, 2019 11:01 am
oh wow, this really gets into the bone crunching, ever exhausting heart of the matter, if one has to constantly weigh in, on the simplest things, because one has a chronic illness;
you’ve captured just the tip of the ice-berg for the “insanity” of it – but in words that really speak volumes … I can completely relate to this …
and if I said, I wish I could have penned something this good to express what it’s like – it would be a high compliment.
I love the second stanza – the whole poem actually – and the fact that the body in all its mysteries and chemical wars etc. may be testy, but I appreciate the “warrior” spirit that says, “no, I will still go on and do something worthy” – like create and participate as much as possible in life.
Soldier on Colleen – and I hope you’re having a good day.
April 5th, 2019 4:48 pm
Thank you, Pat. It’s good to be “seen.” Happy you “got it.”
April 9th, 2019 10:11 am
I think it would be hard not to ‘get’ this one – you’re so telling it like it is. What can I say? So sorry this is what it’s like for you; applause for the defiant determination in the closing lines; and I think this pulling-no-punches poem is one of your most eloquent.
April 9th, 2019 1:15 pm
I was wondering if this is the dream, or, indeed, a chronic illness. Either way, it is powerful. You have captured the feeling of being unable to do the basics so well, and it sure resonates with me, as does the determination to persevere.
April 9th, 2019 1:24 pm
This is a very powerful poem, I can feel the struggle and the bravery that it takes to persevere.
April 9th, 2019 1:45 pm
It takes a lot of strength and courage to endure let alone write about something like this, Colleen. I am so honored you shared this poem with us.
April 9th, 2019 1:52 pm
A nightmare – either waking or sleeping. an honest poem and show strength and resolve.
April 9th, 2019 6:44 pm
More & more duck & cover every day & harder & harder to stand up again. Well done, CR.
April 9th, 2019 6:57 pm
Powerful and oh so brave.
April 10th, 2019 1:24 am
Admire the courage and the determination to persevere and stare the challenge down. Wish you strength and love.
April 10th, 2019 9:57 am
Wow! Someone who has worse dreams than me!
April 10th, 2019 10:07 am
I wish it was a dream I would wake up from. Happy to be back to my “normal abnormal” today.
April 10th, 2019 2:27 pm
I know the monster of chronic pain, insomnia, forcing one leg in front of the other while trying to convince everyone I’m alright. I really get this brave and honest poem.
April 16th, 2019 8:11 pm
Colleen, I read this days and days ago when I was pressed for time and unable to formulate a worthy comment…. I have the time now, but still not the ability. Thank you for your courage in sharing (and as always for your talent) and I wish you WELL (good days, good hours, good minutes in spite of …)