Finite Flight
On the plane ride home from Boston to Roanoke
I pondered my brother’s dead body
flying as cargo from Houston to Logan in 2001
Folding my magazine to a page on green burial
I read that death is a spiritual birth
that embalmment means draining the body of blood
and filling it with formaldehyde preservatives
Thinking about the fluid collecting in your body
I try to visualize its route and purpose
My tears pool together
There’s a lump in my throat
I worry that its cancer
I think about our 87-year old mother
the stiffness of her body
and her leg that drags and shakes
She talks to it and gives it commands
as if it was a child late for school
I think about the distance
between her chair and her bed
and how she navigates it over and over
The plane starts and stops in a line of traffic
A baby in the next seat cries
Airports are becoming more familiar
like weigh stations for preparations and debriefing
There will be other flights
but not so much for weddings now
My brother is sober
my sister is in love
my nephew is driving a car
The ocean doesn’t exist for my mother’s cat
It lives in a world three stories high
and thinks that going down into the cellar
is going outside
I hold the door open for my mother
who pushes her walker like a ball and chain
and warns her cat firmly to “Stay!”
I secretly root for its freedom
but my hands stand in for my mother’s
as I squirt a spray of water at the cat
The plane gears up on the runway
There is no turning around now
It lifts and takes off as I read from my magazine
about maintaining relationships with the dead
It says to cultivate a universal trust
because “life, no matter what, is always good
and always has something to give us”
I don’t know what happens after death
or how planes defy gravity
My organs seem to shift as the plane tilts and tips
Land is a memory now
~ Colleen Redman
More dVerse poets at the Open Link Pub HERE.
June 11th, 2012 5:04 pm
Such a difficult transition. The change from a slow moving body preparing to leave this world and a superfine jet plane is what moves your organs aside. I keep thinking I will be your mother some day soon and I wonder how I will feel about such a quiet and small life where the only arguments are with body parts and pets.
June 11th, 2012 5:41 pm
Well said, Tabor!
June 11th, 2012 6:10 pm
What a poem!! I have been thinking very deeply myself and on how I wish I could put it in words. xo
June 11th, 2012 8:47 pm
Since Friday morning when my 12-year-old Kiki Cat died, I have been writing as a way of “maintaining relationships with the dead” and as a tribute to Kiki’s life with me. Thank you for this poetic meditation. Your details of the sights, sounds, and thoughts swirling in and around you reminds me of my need to describe the last morning of Kiki’s life. It made me feel better to write it out. I hope writing this poetry helped you, too. I’m holding you in the light.
June 11th, 2012 9:02 pm
Thank you, Bonnie. Your comment means the world to me.
I think of this poem as a homeopathic remedy. It’s the littlest things that count.
I wish you deepening and peace in your grief for Kiki.
June 12th, 2012 5:47 pm
this is a gorgeous piece…i love the progression of it…the weightiness of death to your care for your mother…that was most vivid to me…all the thoughts running through the head as you prepare to take off…and feeling the ground leave you a bit…
ok i got totally distracted at the beginning because….you are in roanoke? you realize i am in lynchburg…have we had this conversation before…any way…got distracted…ha…i grew up in roanoke…
June 12th, 2012 5:48 pm
The family story augmented with the metaphor of the plane trip was very successful in this poem, which had the tension and mystery of a good short story as well. I enjoyed it and identified with it.
June 12th, 2012 6:24 pm
Nice reflections on life and death, family relationships and always the mystery of our destination. Riding planes gives a lot of time for introspection. Thanks for sharing this ~
June 12th, 2012 9:00 pm
What a great write..painful and thought provoking and I am truly sorry about your loss. It was long ago yet for you I am sure it feels like it was yesterday.
June 12th, 2012 10:13 pm
Very touching, you pull it all together into a knot of familial love.
June 13th, 2012 12:26 am
airports always make me getting reflective as well.. about the nice and difficult things in life..you pulled quite some different strings here..and it flows well together
June 13th, 2012 10:33 am
Oh fabulous!
Land is a memory now.
I can see the light off your face from the airline window…
June 13th, 2012 1:46 pm
drew me in and held me close the whole time~ loved the progression, loved the different points of view of the story all leading to the same place…. memory? 🙂 thanks for sharing…
June 13th, 2012 11:44 pm
[…] If pictures are picture perfect, then poetry is the warts and all […]
June 14th, 2012 9:15 am
This is a very touching, thought provoking piece. Well done. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Happy T13!
June 21st, 2012 12:39 pm
Wonderful poem, Colleen. My favourite poem from you, hands down.
June 21st, 2012 1:01 pm
That means a lot, Pearl. Thank you!