Over the Edge
“My edge is dull.” That’s it. It comes to me and I say it out loud. After an intense period of writing back-to-back and with nothing new now to sink my teeth into, I’m in between projects, avoiding unpleasant chores and any all-consuming activity. But shouldn’t I clean up the boxes of Christmas stuff still in the spare bedroom? Wouldn’t it be nice to see the uncluttered top of my desk again? Maybe I can sharpen my wit in a jitsu of word sparring with my poet friend Mara. I’d like a good game of Scrabble to focus or distract me, but I’m afraid it will all go over my head.
How do I stop and start again? What exists between on and off?
She doesn’t want to go out, Mara tells me over the phone. She’s having a rare day at home and her poetry is flowing like a turned on faucet. “It’s like having a lover in the house,” I say. Then I drift on her words as she describes a series of poems she’s writing about creeks. I see the tributaries of her thoughts and the watershed of her grief as she talks about Cory, her husband who died in 2001, and his favorite creek.
I don’t want to sign up for anything new. I want to be swept up in the current of Mara’s words and be delivered to a place of poetry where metaphor is more important than the substance it cuts through.
January 23rd, 2008 10:02 am
colleen, poetry is still flowing out in this space between, as evidenced in this post.
i have been in the same limbo, but feel like i’m starting to come out on the other side. i finally put away christmas gifts/wrappings this past weekend. some were still in their gift bags in my living room.
i tend to be manic with my creativity….where it all pours out at once, and then i have long spells of drought, where the streams don’t flow. so it goes with energy, too.
maybe it’s winter, where we curl up within ourselves to relish the warmth, only to emerge again with renewed life in the warmer months to come.
oh, and the photo and quote were inspired by my asheville friend, jeff:
http://www.myspace.com/jeffzentner
he sees appalachia differently from me, and his music reflects the feel of my post. he finds beauty in decay and loneliness.
January 23rd, 2008 11:15 am
I hope you get the creative juice you desire…and so sorry but I tagged you for a meme. I know you don’t really do memes but this one is easy and just opens a person up a bit.
January 23rd, 2008 11:56 am
right around the corner
January 23rd, 2008 12:05 pm
Colleen, I think it’s the January blahs…at least it is for me! November and December are gorgeous…the snow…the holidays…
Then comes January … we’re just a tad bid sick of the cold and the snow…
As February and March roll around we get this joy again – because we know that the cold and the snow will only last a few more months…the days are getting longer…the sun shines more often…and soon it will be spring…
At least that is my take on it!!!! (Darn, maybe I should have written that as a post for my blog…) 🙂
January 23rd, 2008 12:28 pm
Thanks for stopping by. Yes, writing about the truth of what we feel (dull edges, woes, lost loves, all of it) does help. Plus, for me, something new really can warm the thaw: whether caused by January or just the normal blues. I decided to launch into some food experiments based on a raw foods “cook” book I got for Christmas. The color of carrot juice brings a smile. Reminds me of that poem you wrote awhile ago.
Blessings,
Sharry
January 23rd, 2008 1:20 pm
Colleen — I believe I know that feeling, too. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I should be pumping myself up or just relaxing with it. When I’m unsure I just keep hitting Stumble Upon to see if anything inspires me. If not, I know I just need a book or a nap!
January 23rd, 2008 2:22 pm
Sounds like a good day to listen to The Band.
January 23rd, 2008 2:35 pm
just “being” is good for us, too.
January 23rd, 2008 5:16 pm
I think we all get like this sometime.
January 23rd, 2008 7:38 pm
It is a quiet soul day for you… consider it a blessing..
January 23rd, 2008 7:53 pm
We all have days like that, don’t we? Your muse will return.
January 23rd, 2008 9:51 pm
I was just talking about this very thing yesterday. It was suggested to me that the winter season seems to bring about “the White Blues”. Be kind to yourself. It’s just a phase to bring you to another spot. You’ll get there!