And This is What I Want to Happen
A woman in my dialogue circle shared something positive about her childhood that I didn’t experience in mine. Instead of being triggered by what I felt as a lack, I was able to feel happy for her that she was so fostered. The thought of what I had missed crossed my mind but I was not pulled to go down that road of “poor me.”
In dialogue and in all my communications with others, I want to hit the nail on the nerve of the present moment and build more understanding and truth. But when there is nothing to build, I want to let the hammer rest.
I want to honor my sensitivity and be guided by my discomforts, to know they are signs of what needs tending. But I also want to be aware of the difference between my sensitivities and my over-sensitivities and be more aware of what my over-sensitivities are rooted in, hardly ever in the present moment.
I want to be able to weigh what part of my reaction is a true response to what is going on in the moment and what part is a past hurt being re-stimulated. Either way, I will probably need to speak. But one voice is calm while the other is grating. And here is where the work lies.
March 8th, 2011 6:07 pm
Wow. When you get there let me know how. We should all be this way. We cannot change the past and we must learn to feel joy for others…but it IS hard sometimes.
March 8th, 2011 6:19 pm
Wow. How very profound; and I’m grateful that you were able to express it so succinctly. Being in the moment is for me, a way of keeping the past in the past. It can only affect me now if I let it impact this moment. What a wonderful dialogue circle.
March 8th, 2011 6:32 pm
yeah. you were digging deep and have expressed what you found very beautifully. I echo the “wow”. this reminds me of a great quote –
“Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past”. great post colleen.
March 8th, 2011 7:28 pm
I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, but I’m blessed whenever I see a glimmer of progress.
Looking through the microscope of self-analysis through group dialogue is a slow and often uncomfortable process. I’m thankful for those that support and allow it.
March 9th, 2011 7:49 am
New insight is always good!! xo
Sharing it with others is even better!
March 9th, 2011 9:31 am
I love this, Colleen! Thanks for sharing it!
Wendy
March 9th, 2011 11:21 am
I am starting to think that the best I can do is try to be aware of all the information swirling around in my head and try to trace the origin of each strand. It is daunting work!
March 9th, 2011 11:01 pm
Thanks for this. You have me realizing why I keep to myself. There are so many challenges I avoid, so many potential conversations that terrify me.
March 13th, 2011 1:57 am
I love the way you have broken down the difference between sensitivities and over-sensitivities.
You have given me much to think about with that. Thank you.
May 12th, 2011 8:46 am
Beautiful insights… “honor my sensitivity and be guided by my discomforts”… awareness to treasure.