Everywhere I Go I am There
“I’m so tired of being me,” I heard myself say. In that moment it was true. It was more of an observation than it was a complaint, but it was a complaint too, not so unlike saying ‘I’m so tired of sweeping the kitchen floor, over and over and over.’
My kitchen floor is getting older and after all these years of sweeping, the same dirt still needs cleaning up. But being tired of endlessly sweeping, doesn’t mean that I’m not also thankful for having a home of my own with a kitchen floor to sweep.
Being tired of being me, tired of my habitual compulsions and responses, of not having enough energy, of compensating for my disabilities, of getting older, of everything repeating day after day doesn’t mean that I also don’t find being me pretty darn interesting and that I can’t wait to hear what I’ll say next.
March 22nd, 2011 2:34 am
I think you are writing in circles…
March 22nd, 2011 9:23 am
Or sweeping in circles.
March 22nd, 2011 8:10 pm
I really like this post!! xo
It reminds me of the song by Joni Mitchell “Circle Game”……..I feel it too.
March 22nd, 2011 9:00 pm
Thanks, She. Glad you get it.
Life is like musical chairs. Sometimes I play and sometimes I sit it out.
P.S. Labyrinth is by my friend Lora Giessler.
March 22nd, 2011 10:15 pm
I get it. Totally.
March 22nd, 2011 11:30 pm
I get it, too–especially the part of being tired of the habitual responses and compulsions.
March 22nd, 2011 11:39 pm
I’m amazed that I can feel that bored with myself and yet, still feel that it is all one big interesting study in being an evolving human.
March 22nd, 2011 11:49 pm
I can’t wait to hear what you say next either!!
March 23rd, 2011 12:29 am
I don’t get tired of being me just wishe there wasn’t quite so much of me 🙂 But i’m with you on the environmental stuff not staying put!!!I do get tired of the dirt and sand being tracked in and ruining my floors and the dust settling on everything, but the view is incredible.
March 23rd, 2011 11:06 am
I get that feeling too… but am trying a new thing… if I count my blessings… even the little things… perhaps there will be no room in my heart and mind for the fears and complaints.
March 23rd, 2011 2:34 pm
I think a lot of us can relate to these feelings, Colleen…glad you can put a positive spin on it!
Wendy
March 23rd, 2011 9:03 pm
I enjoyed that like I can’t even tell you! I feel the same way. (I go to work early just to sweep my classroom. I am odd…..)
March 23rd, 2011 10:24 pm
It sweeps both ways, yes. I think that’s why we do movies, stories, novels and conversations even — to suspend ourselves and enter someone else’s shoes.