Loose Leaf Notes

The following originally appeared in Natural Awakenings of Southwest Virginia

“Don’t leave before you go.” — Alan Forrest on the last morning of the iBme fall self-care retreat

What could be sweeter than gently waking after plenty of sleep in your own room at a self-care retreat by the soft sound of a Tibetan bowl ringing outside your door?

What could be more fulfilling than eating an unhurried breakfast in silence with other retreat participants, putting your fork down with each bite of scrambled eggs, hearing each spontaneously whispered ahh after each sip of hot Earl Grey tea, smiling at the juicy taste of a grape popping in your mouth and watching the habits of your mind with loving amusement?

At the Inward Bound Mindfulness Education (iBme) Self-Care Retreat, held in the fall at the Spirit Wind Retreat Center in Floyd, participants experienced that and much more. They were provided with a perfect blend of silence and sitting, plus talking and walking, in a B&B setting that included a mountain view, a trail leading to a creek and enough rocking chairs on the porch for everyone.

The facilitators, iBme founder and counselor Joe Klein and Radford University Professor of counseling Alan Forrest, gently guided the group—which included teachers, a school principal, a homesteader, a publisher, a retiree and others—in mindfulness instruction that involved focusing awareness on the breath, sounds and body sensations.

Participants also were encouraged to take time to slow down and make art, gently stretch and engage in facilitated dialogue and periods of “noble silence.” Optional enrichment workshops included collage-making, Qigong, laughter yoga, and an introduction to passage meditation, which involves silently repeating inspirational passages drawn from a wide range of traditions. Nourishing hot food was served at mealtimes. Personal highs and lows of each day were shared and supported. Probing questions for self-reflection about birthright gifts and life seeds left unplanted were pondered and explored.

Although the instruction and practice of mindfulness is the foundation of iBme retreats, small discussion groups are an integral component of the retreat model. Often cited by participants as a favorite part of their retreat experience, these facilitated groups provide a chance for participants to develop skills of compassionate listening and to build trust and community through slow, meaningful inquiry and conversation.

Held three times a year since 2008, these self-care retreats have been adapted from teen retreats, which began in 2007 for the purpose of fostering the maturation of social, emotional and ecological intelligence in teens as a way to bolster their inner resiliency. After witnessing the positive results of the teen retreats, the leaders saw a need to support professionals who work with youth and to address the tendency for burnout in caregivers and professionals in helping careers.

The self-care retreats have since expanded to include all adults interested in learning skills for mindful living. Forrest’s flyer describes it thus: “Through an integration of Eastern and Western approaches and traditions, this retreat will help you restore your sense of self, maintain your balance, sustain your vitality and to better know your own limits and the limits of the situation.”

Both the adult and youth iBme retreats incorporate skills in Social Emotional Learning (SEL), a concept that was popularized by the 1995 publication of Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Research supports what proponents of SEL maintain: that assisting young people in understanding and regulating their emotions promotes personal growth, responsible decision-making, a caring attitude toward others, improved academic performance and life successes. SEL in youth is fostered by adults who have competency in those skills.

“How rich the world is when we are present to receive it,” Klein said at the fall self-care retreat. He was responding to a participant’s description of grass jeweled with morning dew, the sound of a scurrying leaf, a bird call, a passing plane and the smell of pine in the air after a silent walking meditation, also part of the retreat model.

During Sunday’s closing circle, an educator, who had arrived noticeably frazzled on Friday evening, summed up the weekend this way: “I came for my job and leave for myself.” Many in the group smiled and nodded in agreement.

Another participant shared his initial resistance to attending the retreat and his surprise at how much peace and insight he had gained. “I have a new sense of clarity seen through a new lens,” he said.   ~ Colleen Redman

For information on the future iBme self-care retreats, visit inwardboundmindfulnesseducation.org. CEUs are available to participants from retreat co-sponsor Radford University.

“Simply put, Mindfulness is moment to moment awareness. It is cultivated by purposely paying attention to things we normally would not give a second notice to. It is a systematic approach to developing new kinds of control and wisdom in our lives, based on our inner capacities for relaxation, paying attention, awareness and insight.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.