Going Home
The last of the packing comes down to one question
Should I bring extra shoes or make room for a book
Guide to a Happy Life?
I’m still looking for a good Sinatra record
because he was to your generation
what the Beatles were to mine
and music is a memory that doesn’t skip
I’ve made a list of dinners I want to cook
I’d like to read aloud to you
or talk about how it felt for you to have a father
who favored his son over his daughter
and what was it like to be separated
from your mother at such a young age
But it might make you uncomfortable to talk about that
like the time your voice shook when you spoke of menstruation
when you handed me a pamphlet with diagrams and drawings
of the female reproductive system
I think you’d rather tell me that you don’t like Dr. Phil
but you love the host of America’s Funniest Videos
You complain that the heat is going to kill you
you want the TV on but don’t care what channel
Our days of taking trips together are over
We won’t go to Provincetown, Martha’s Vineyard or Nova Scotia
But I’ll push you in your wheelchair to the physical therapist
in the shopping plaza where Bobby was hit by a car that broke his leg
I want to ask you what it’s like to be waited on
after waiting on your father, your husband and nine kids
and what you think about when you’re alone in the middle of the night
Will we all end up in dining rooms turned into bedrooms
in hospital beds that our grandkids want to wind up and down?
Ever since Jim and Dan died a month apart
I think I have to pack something black when I travel
Maybe we can visit their grave and get a tuna melt sandwich at the pier
or listen to the radio and watch the boats go by
like daddy did when he was alive
At home, I’ll be patient when you panic at the top of the stairs
and berate yourself for not being able to walk without help
I’ll be gentle when I wash your hair
I won’t mention how hard you rubbed my scalp
with cheap shampoo that stung my eyes when I was a girl
I’ll walk the beach at sunset and bring you a feather or a shell
I’ll water your plants, even the perennials
and the trees that I don’t think need watering
but you are sure they do
________________________
Read more dVerse poets at Open Link Night HERE.
May 8th, 2012 9:38 am
Lovely! have a good trip. My best to your mother.
May 8th, 2012 9:53 am
It’s a couple of weeks away but I have been thinking and planning for it for awhile now.
May 8th, 2012 3:41 pm
lots of questions and shadows in here a bit…the handing of the pamphlet, thats hard….so much to talk about, yet…it is hard caring for a parent…it was with my mother…
May 8th, 2012 4:03 pm
“…music is a memory that doesn’t skip”
A beautiful phrase and pun.
May 8th, 2012 5:02 pm
I feel the pain in between the lines..I’m sorry. I hope your trip is a good one. Hugs.
May 8th, 2012 5:42 pm
I left an answer to your comment on my blog. It really made me sit up and think! I love the words above and wish you were my daughter.
May 8th, 2012 6:25 pm
A very poignant poem, Colleen. Thanks for sharing those thoughts and emotions.
May 8th, 2012 6:30 pm
What a beautiful touching poem, Colleen…So heartfelt and poignant and sad, too……
I hope your trip home is easer than you think it might be, but if it isn’t, it sounds like you are prepared, my dear…….
May 8th, 2012 7:05 pm
Vivid capture of taking care of our elderly or family member while trying to make sense of our lives…you raise some good questions here but I hope that in the end, there will be peace ~ Lovely share today ~
May 8th, 2012 8:05 pm
There are times in life when this is visited from many perspectives. Excellent write and journey.
May 8th, 2012 9:02 pm
Very detailed and delicate portrait you paint here, not just of the mother, but of the narrator, and the whole family and the life it frames. It’s all in the little things, our lives. Liked this much, Colleen.
May 8th, 2012 10:34 pm
Lovely words ~ powerful in the love for your mom!
May 9th, 2012 1:05 am
love all the questions, the emotions in this…but most of all love the tenderness…the deciding not to pay him back for things that obviously hurt you…this is true strength..a fine write colleen
May 9th, 2012 10:02 am
“I can’t stop crying”!! xox
May 9th, 2012 1:14 pm
Sweet sounds of Wren’s and Thrushes..
Weathered places , daisies ,two fingered bunches
Someday Might I ,
someday..
Turn to you!!
joe
May 9th, 2012 9:18 pm
Beautiful poem Colleen!
May 10th, 2012 6:44 am
Excellent descriptions of one of lifes journeys – one I have taken and one I am still taking…
Anna :o]
May 16th, 2012 10:11 pm
[…] 8. The last of the packing comes down to one question / should I bring extra shoes or make room for a book / Guide to a Happy Life? / I’m still looking for a good Sinatra recording / because he was to your generation / what the Beatles were to mine / and music is a memory that doesn’t skip … The rest of this poem can be read HERE. […]