Morning Commute
I woke up wanting to see
the crane migration in Nebraska
or at least an ostrich in the zoo
Clouds swept past my window
like a clock unwinding
like the ghosts of lost loved-ones departing
I woke up imagining
that I knew the names of birds
posed in the treetops
waiting to be photographed
The wind like a speeding train
tried to squeeze its way inside
Leafless trees cowered
and mourned being left behind
I woke up worrying about lovers
abandoned by the loves of their lives
and blonde-haired children in Spiderman suits
who don’t understand
I imagined people on planes
on their way to Australia
I tried but couldn’t see their faces
buried in magazines
Yours is covered in blankets
hiding from the sun
while your breath stitches a dream
about a quest of life or death
It’s the dream that you’ll tell during breakfast
when the steam of tea rises like smoke
and dishes clink like wheels on a track
on their way to a new unknown
________Colleen Redman________dVerse Poets Pub
March 28th, 2014 1:10 pm
Not am I the first to comment but the first to be just a little jealous of you wonderful way with words. These sound a little like some of your dreams. ;-0
March 28th, 2014 1:53 pm
My real life is just that strange. The only part that comes from a dream is the hero’s quest dream that Joe had. The rest is all drawn from real life and after seeing a spot on the crane migration on the news. My son Josh was in the sky that day, on the way to Australia and I am sad about a troubled marriage in the family. But I like the fact that the thought process (especially before we get busy on the steam of the day) can be as unlikely as shifting dream images. Thanks, Tabor! I always look forward to hearing your comments.
Oops, just noticed the title didn’t compute: Morning Commute.
March 29th, 2014 3:04 pm
wow… think that is my fav of those i read by you so far colleen… love the images – the whole feel of the poem… the tea steam… the wanting to know the birds by names… way cool
March 29th, 2014 3:07 pm
the narrator feels a bit omniscient in this…imagining the world, i like the turn to personal…to them, there in the end…and i imagine the story of the dream over breakfast will be quite a delight….now that i read your comment, it makes sense too…all the things inhabiting your mind…
March 29th, 2014 3:16 pm
Love all of the images you invoked in this poem. Liked ‘the wind like a speeding train.’ But worrying about lovers being abandoned by the love of their life can indeed take its toll.
March 29th, 2014 3:33 pm
This reflects some of the meanderings of my own mind – if we had to record (or even could) all of our thoughts in one day, it would be a crazy thing to read back. Thank you for sharing a slice of your thoughts, and I hope the worries resolve themselves as well as they can.
March 29th, 2014 3:52 pm
I enjoyed the poetic glimpse into your thoughts. I like the crane migration and your more wistful ponderings and how you round up your poem at the kitchen table.
March 29th, 2014 4:16 pm
Interesting life you must have! Lovely read!
March 29th, 2014 4:25 pm
Wonderful imagery of morning thoughts and dreams. Love mornings when my mind is alive.
Anna :o]
March 29th, 2014 4:46 pm
So many thoughts weave their way through dreams and quiet moments. I really liked how this went from conceptual to tangible, especially in the second to last stanza.
March 29th, 2014 4:51 pm
I really favor your style of prose my friend. It speaks clearly to me… full of vivid imagery yet full of story.
March 29th, 2014 4:52 pm
I would like to know the birds by name..and I am always in wonder of dreams as I ponder over a tea steam..
March 29th, 2014 6:45 pm
I like how you posed the poetry as statement.. there is an element of curiosity that I really enjoy here…
March 29th, 2014 7:14 pm
Hi Colleen, I enjoyed the lyrical confidence that ran consistently through this piece – lovely work… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
March 29th, 2014 8:34 pm
really loved the different scenes and feelings in each stanza – and then the intimate moment at the end – lovely – K
March 29th, 2014 8:37 pm
There’s so much to love about this, Colleen, but the ending did it for me.
March 30th, 2014 1:41 am
Oh, I would like to see an ostrich in the zoo, too….little surprises in this I like…clinking of morning dishes
March 30th, 2014 3:56 am
wonderful images!
March 30th, 2014 5:53 am
Lovely morning meanderings of the mind and dreams shared over a cup of steaming tea…i live in midwest and visited bird sanctuary where the cranes stop on their migration…it was off-season so i know that longing!
March 30th, 2014 6:04 am
i like the chain of thoughts flowing like a stream….
March 30th, 2014 7:53 am
A new favorite. i love this, all the images and emotions. I feel like a lot resonated with me.
March 30th, 2014 1:25 pm
I love how the little things, the steam of the tea, the blankets, the magazines – the sights that trigger out thoughts and daydreams
March 30th, 2014 4:56 pm
Ah, I felt like I was there that morning. Enjoyed your poem!
March 30th, 2014 10:12 pm
There’s a feeling of storms brewing and fresh lost woven through the ordinary bits of of a day. Emotion exquisitely crafted.
April 3rd, 2014 9:31 am
[…] 11. I woke up wanting to see / the crane migration in Nebraska / or at least an ostrich in the zoo / Clouds swept past my window / like a clock unwinding / like the ghosts of lost loved-ones departing … Read the rest of Morning Commute HERE. […]
April 3rd, 2014 1:25 pm
You sweep through the life of the mind with this one, effortlessly (it seems) and with great art and distinction. This is well developed and composed. Very nice job.
Steve K.
June 21st, 2016 11:52 pm
[…] 8. I woke up worrying about lovers / abandoned by the loves of their lives / and blonde-haired children in Spiderman suits / who don’t understand / I imagined people on planes / on their way to Australia / I tried but couldn’t see their faces / buried in magazines … Read more of Morning Commute HERE. […]