Mommy
It’s my mother in me
that couldn’t cry
when I first heard she died
and my father in me
that finally broke down
when I saw her
It looked like she had one eye slightly open
as if asserting her motherly omnipresence
In life she didn’t miss a trick
and she never liked to feel left out
She left this world on August 15th
the day Catholics celebrate the Ascension
of Mother Mary into heaven
We were just glad it didn’t happen
the day before on our brother Bobby’s birthday
Our sister Sherry shopped for the dress
that she wore in the casket
and splurged on earrings
she knew she’d like
It was like shopping for
the birthday or Christmas gifts
she stopped wanting to get
and that we will never give her again
My mother stopped collecting stuff
long before she forgot dates
and caring about the outside world
But she never forgot her nine children’s names
and the three who had passed before her
Always hard working
and always beautiful
Now she looked peaceful
but a faint frown hung on
As if to show a hint of resistance
or a fading expression of her recent refrain
“I don’t like this place
and I want to go home”
It was the child in me
that could only call her “mommy”
when I gazed into her face for the last time
and imagined where her home would be now
__ Colleen Redman / Imaginary Garden with Real Toads /dVerse Poets Pub
August 23rd, 2016 10:34 am
So very sorry. Feel as if all of us came to know her through your words.
August 23rd, 2016 11:27 am
Hope that writing this was cathartic for you. Definitely feels like a “stab in the heart.”
August 23rd, 2016 11:30 am
Colleen, condolences to all your family. Am glad I visited your mom as often as I did. Our mother passed away a few years ago… she was the glue that kept us all together!
August 23rd, 2016 12:03 pm
So very sorry for your loss. What a wave of love and anguish. Beautifully written.
August 23rd, 2016 2:49 pm
We all know the moment will come.. and yes my mother is in a home … waiting maybe, or something else. That shopping for a dress made it even more touching, as well as both your mother and father in you… I’m close to tears… so very very touching.
August 23rd, 2016 3:33 pm
When I reached the last lines, I had tears in my eyes trying to spill over onto my cheeks:
It was the child in me
that could only call her “mommy”
when I gazed into her face for the last time
and imagined she was finally going home
Okay, now those tears are rolling down my cheeks. This is very powerful writing, Colleen. I’m sending you lots of love and hugs today.
August 23rd, 2016 4:40 pm
Thank you so much Stuart, Bjorn, Bonnie and all. You are all much appreciated.
August 23rd, 2016 7:54 pm
So beautifully written- from your heart, for sure. I think that no matter how old we are when we lose our mommy, it’s so very hard. I remember picking out the dress for my momma; it was an orange print dress, my favorite of all her outfits.
August 24th, 2016 12:00 am
Very affecting. A beautiful, honest write.
August 24th, 2016 11:58 am
This brought tears to my eyes… So poignantly touching without being sentimental. The grief is vivid.
August 24th, 2016 5:53 pm
I’ve been an orphan for about a decade and a half now, CR, but I can’t forget how that loss felt. It does get better, but…
Sending vibes.
August 24th, 2016 7:15 pm
Colleen–I send you all the love in my heart at this very sad sad time. I send you Healing Hugs and my condolences., my dear…..No matter how old we are, losing your mommy is one of those life-changing things that stays with you forever. I send you and ALL of your family my truly heartfelt feelings of sadness at the loss of your dear dear mother. I know she was quite an incredible woman from everything you have shared with all of us here in the Blogesphere.
Again, Healing Hugs from afar, my dear dear Colleen.
August 24th, 2016 8:35 pm
[…] 12. It’s my mother in me that couldn’t cry when I first heard she died and my father in me that finally broke down when I saw her. – More from my latest poem, “Mommy,” HERE. […]
August 25th, 2016 6:10 am
Wow. This is such a strong poem and description, and I appreciate you sharing. Sending love, so sorry for your loss. It’s hard to comment on the particulars of your writing here, but you’ve really accomplished something with this piece. I especially found gutwrenching the passage about shopping for a dress in which to be buried. Hugs to you!
August 25th, 2016 8:58 am
Such a special time to go from a practicing Catholic
August 25th, 2016 5:37 pm
Your poem, both beautiful and heartbreaking, is a wonderful tribute to your mother, and to love. I hope that you and your family are finding healing through this difficult time. Thank you for sharing with us.
August 25th, 2016 8:19 pm
Condolences to the family Colleen. I can’t imagine the heartbreak.
August 25th, 2016 9:43 pm
Beautifully written tribute.
August 26th, 2016 3:57 am
I am so very sorry for your loss 🙁
August 26th, 2016 7:19 am
well….I have tears in my eyes. Having had the privilege of being with my mother when she left this world, this brings back that moment to me. This is beautifully written and a wonderful tribute to your mother. Yes, mommy. You know, you shall always carry her mark, right? We are so connected to our mothers – before we are born she carries us carefully. After our birth – and yes, after her death. Sounds silly, I know, but just take a peek now at your belly — that mark on your belly. The navel. That is the forever physical mark we have of our mother’s love. The connection she forged in our making and still with us in her leaving. You carry her in your heart and on your body too. Wonderful poem. Thank you so much for posting on dVerse. Hope you will return again and again.
PS: Being from Boston — we have a Massachusetts connection. Ah the life by the sea in Hull 🙂 So near the city yet so near the beautiful waters of nature!
August 26th, 2016 9:41 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. May God grant eternal rest on your mother’s soul. I do not wish to be callous nor presumptuous but I just thought that the day your mother left was a lovely time. Even though your Mom left this our world, she goes witnessing a grand celebration in heaven. I only say that because you mentioned the Assumption and assume that you are a Catholic. I hope my bumbling words bring even a teeny bit of consolation.
August 26th, 2016 10:28 pm
A magnificent tribute to your mother! Thanks for sharing.
September 1st, 2016 6:33 am
I am so sorry for your loss. A beautiful and powerful poem.