The Eclipse
My mouth is slowly disappearing
like a shoreline receding
a basin emptying
into a shrinking waterway
of winding lines
My hair is fading
like a bleached coral reef
as my timeline is rising
on the way to eternity
My skin thins translucent
like frosted glass on a night sky view
where a veil is lifting
on an obscured constellation
that tracks the arc of life
It landmarks the ages
as my form is rearranging
diffusing before it passes
before the soul eclipses
the body’s last remains
____________Colleen Redman / Poets and Storytellers United
January 6th, 2023 1:20 am
This is real, graphic and poignant. “form rearranges/ diffuses before it passes” – strong lines.
January 6th, 2023 1:22 am
Aging in general is not fun. Modern medicine has literally kept me alive. And fairly well. Watching the new generations play and learn is fun, try that.
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January 6th, 2023 1:25 am
You make it sound natural, which of course it is, and strangely beautiful too. Perhaps there is power in choosing what is so! (Though, personally, I hope my own transformation is very slow.)
January 6th, 2023 1:35 am
I Love this Great poem and I can relate to it 🙂
Some amazing lines like
“My hair is fading
like a bleached coral reef” and
“My skin thins translucent
like frosted glass on a night sky view” and
love the last lines
Happy New year Colleen
January 6th, 2023 5:17 am
In such a lovely way, you have woven beauty and mysticism into the transformation of aging.
January 6th, 2023 11:30 am
Is it strange to say that this poem reads like a science fiction movie? I can see it happening in my head. Feel it in my bones, flesh, mind’s eye… Eerie and realistic.
January 6th, 2023 11:43 am
Yes, life is a lot like science fiction when you think about it.
January 8th, 2023 1:37 am
yes, you said it so well about the physical changes of aging. I can relate to most of them. 🙂
January 8th, 2023 10:46 am
A great poem on the challenges of our aging bodies. You have captured the transitions so very well.
I love this verese…
My skin thins translucent
like frosted glass on a night sky view
where a veil is lifting
on an obscured constellation
that tracks the arc of life
January 8th, 2023 7:41 pm
Beautiful. I love the references to nature, and being one with nature at the end.
January 10th, 2023 1:46 pm
Stunning imagery here