The Price of Art
Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. ~ Picasso
Watching my son’s push to pull-off his BFA graduation show reminded me of his years as a high school wrestler. Seeing him compete and place in state wrestling competitions, I witnessed how much heart and discipline he could muster. I respected his efforts and was amazed by what he was able to call up from within.
But Josh’s wrestling years also came with a price. His trainings were rigorous, and he starved and dehydrated himself to make weight, to the point that I sometimes feared he was killing himself. As a mother, what I saw Josh sacrifice for the love of a sport, horrified me at the time. Looking back, I now realize that the drive boys have to create a rite of passage into manhood sometimes takes a little boot camp of some kind or another. Males in particular seem to need to see what they’re made of by testing their limits.
A couple of weeks before we made the trip to Asheville for Josh’s show, I called my younger son Dylan, who got married this past summer, to see if he and his wife would be making the trip as well. I encouraged him to go by saying, “you know, this is like Josh’s version of a wedding,” and I began to view it that way. It was a life milestone that needed to be marked, one that involved intense planning and the stress that often comes with that.
Josh’s graduation from the University of North Carolina with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree is the culmination of over 7 years of school and life education. His formal art education (ceramics in particular) began with a 2 year enrollment at Warren Wilson College, was followed by graduation from Haywood Tech Community College, included a few stints at Penland School of Arts (both as student and teacher’s assistant), and a trip to England to meet studio potters that Josh wanted to learn from. Besides his emotional investment and commitment to making art, to put his Thesis Show together catering had to be arranged, invitations sent out, events and performances planned. Josh hosted family and friends in town for the weekend. He hired a band (or got someone to) for the after show party, and even helped clean up the party mess the next day.
Just a week before the show he was working so hard – still firing bricks and last minute show pots, working on his massive 12 x 20 foot wall installation – that he ended a phone conversation I had with him by saying, “my hands are being held together with super glue.” I knew from that comment that he was probably living on coffee and little sleep in order to accomplish the monumental undertaking, of which he refused not to give his all to.
As an adult in the Asheville art world, the perseverance Josh learned in those formative years while wrestling has served him well, and I couldn’t be more proud of him. The result of his recent efforts were impressive, inspiring, and innovative. But although his show was a wonderful success and we all had fun being in Asheville, it was obvious to me that he was stretched thin. 
To accomplish what he had, his life not related to his art was put on hold. Even his own basic needs were compromised for his one-pointed goal. There were a few Van Gogh-like mania moments during the show, as well as some signs of burn-out after it was over.
On the last day that Joe and I were in Asheville, we had breakfast with Josh at a local café. His brothers, his father, and the Floyd hometown contingency had left the afternoon before. It was the morning after the first night in weeks that Josh had gotten a reasonable amount of sleep, but he was still distracted after functioning at full throttle for days and asking himself from minute to minute ‘what needs to be done next?’
“Do you have to read the newspaper right now?” I asked. He was on his first of six cups of coffee. He laughed as he answered, “no.” Putting the paper aside, he shifted in his chair a few times, let his eyes dart around the patio to take everything in, before stopping … to take a deep breath.
Our eyes met, and after a few seconds of looking and really seeing each other, we both welled up with tears. Nothing needed to be said.
Photos: 1. Family friend Karl, Josh, and my husband Joe sharing a moment and enjoying the view near where Josh recently purchased a couple of acres of land. 2. Potter son’s hands holding a warm cup of coffee. Scroll down to learn more about Josh’s art or go HERE.
December 12th, 2006 9:17 am
I love how he used writing in those bricks as a very important part of the art.
Wow. His work is amazing, what a talent.
Congratulations to your son, and to you!
December 12th, 2006 9:17 am
He sounds like an intense, very focused person, driven by ambition. This is good for success but I know that as a parent, you worry about the person Josh, not the artist. Seems he has taken some of the Boot Camp into this career, but he will do well and probably become more relaxed and balanced when he has confidence. All the best for his bright future!
December 12th, 2006 9:33 am
Driven by ambition sounds more like something that comes from the head. I think Josh is more driven by heart. Since he was a little boy he was driven by art, dramatic play, and self expression. He wanted to try every medium from the time he could hold a crayon. He also loves sports and puts his whole heart into the things he loves. And I think to be an artist you likely have to be a little obssesive…give yourself over to it.
I had a hard time coming down from such a high weekend. I was exhuasted, emotional, and touched and I hope I didn’t project too much of my own feelings onto Josh in this post.
December 12th, 2006 7:55 pm
Colleen, you just hit me where it counts. With nearly every word.
December 12th, 2006 8:57 pm
wow- i wish i had half his drive! i graduated from haywood tech with an associates degree- i didn’t realize he went there also. that’s in the county i’m from.
December 12th, 2006 9:02 pm
I think Josh got an associate’s degree too. From what I remember he graduated from a 2 year program in ceramics and marketing.
He just bought land in Madison County (the jewel of the Blue Ridge) near Marshall. I thought Haywood was a very cool school. A large group of Floydians went to his graduation back then (about 3 years ago).
I just heard that his car was stolen today (!), but found by the afternoon, and that he passed his Spanish test, and so yes, he will graduate next Saturday. Never a dull moment there.
December 12th, 2006 10:20 pm
That was so sweet…he has heart but he has the stamina and determination to back it right now. I think his work is amazing so I really do wish him the very best of luck in his career!
December 12th, 2006 11:29 pm
What a view! I can’t wait to see the work it will inspire for your talented son!
December 12th, 2006 11:34 pm
As I read this, I thought….the passion of the young artist cannot be matched by anyone of another age or station in life.
December 13th, 2006 12:11 am
Sounds like you have such a good relationship with your son – that is wonderful!
December 13th, 2006 12:47 am
What a relief it must be to have the show over with. The pictures are fantastic – I can only imagine how good it was in person.
December 13th, 2006 6:39 am
The range of a mother’s emotions – pride, worry, relief, fear, amazement…
It is physically draining and fulfilling at the same time. Great job, Colleen. Josh, too.
December 13th, 2006 10:56 am
~~ The desire to make everything “Right” for an artist is so difficult for other family members..my middle one is a musician, an’ he will go for days in this manic sprint to get a piece of music “just right” — so I can relate to your concern for Josh.
The photo of his newly purchased land is absolutely breath-taking — it will definetly add to his creative drive.
Congrats to All of you for making it thru the weekend!!
lauri
December 13th, 2006 1:09 pm
And now what is ahead for your artist son?
His work is lovely.
December 13th, 2006 8:45 pm
Josh received a $15,000 Windgate grant to build a kiln. So he recently purchased some land to put it on and also to build a studio and house. That’s pretty much what he’ll be doing this whole next year. The view in the photo is a friend’s property, land that is adjacent to Josh’s piece. He’ll continue being a potter and now that he’s graduated from school he’ll have more time to pursue that.
December 13th, 2006 9:47 pm
Congrtas on the grant, Josh! Wow! What a beauty studio you could build with great views too.
December 14th, 2006 5:02 am
I remember the intensity and passion of getting ready for “a show” and how everything else gets put on hold…the only thing one can think about and live and breath is gettimg to that opening and if it is as complex nd wonderful as Josh’ show…MY LORD! What a fantastic accomplishment…! And you watching him put so much heart and soul and love into this—it is very moving to read about it and see, too, through your eyes, my dear Colleen!
I still would like to know how one might go about getting one of the bricks…Could you email me? Thanks, in advance.