Loose Leaf Notes

1. After three days of the high energy at the Floyd Little River Poetry Festival, that was preceded by a blockbuster first Floyd Small Town Summer, I went home to live a solo life, since Joe is on a month-long cross-country road trip with our grandsons.

2. After a few days of being home alone, I texted Joe that it felt like I was on a vision quest, lengthening time by just being, pampered by the richness of my home and garden and nourishing my nervous system.

3. At the end of the first week, I had a Three Floyd Zombie Dust beer at Dogtown Friday for my friend Sally’s birthday bash.

4. She was turning 90!

5. The meaning of WU WEI is the practice advocated by Taoism of letting one’s action follow the simple and spontaneous course of nature, rather than interfering with the harmonious working of universal law by imposing arbitrary and artificial forms. -Merriam Webster

6. BUT, by then end of two weeks home alone, the Vision Quest was over as I dealt with hours in the garden and unfinished projects all over the house.  I texted Joe the below picture and wrote “I can’t possibly eat all this food myself. The broccoli misses you.”

7. He’s been texting me trip updates and pictures of canyons, caverns, campfires, hot springs, sand dunes, Mesa Verde, Sequoia trees, the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. They even rode in a self-driving car to get Thai food in Santa Monica.

8. “If I could go back and tell myself anything during the long quiet of that hermit phase, it would be this. The stillness was not empty. Something was being built down there in the dark, in the roots, in the season that looked like nothing from the outside.” – From The Return: A Guide to Waking Up after a Hermit Phase Liz McKenna

9. “Aging is like being a pothead again.” Chrissie Hynde, The Pretenders

10. “The best thing about being 80 is that you outlive the clocks that have been chasing you. It’s freedom from that lie that anything was ever under control. You don’t chase the parade anymore. You’re an old king from some vanished country. You’re harder to programme. You’re not rushing to become anything and you’re not haunted by things that you did. You’re haunted by how little of it really mattered in the way you thought it would.” – Bob Dylan

11. “On the downside, however, “The old fire in your heart still tells you to do this and that, but your body says we already did it.”  Dylan

12. The older I get, the less interested I am in enlightenment experiences. Spiritual teachers often speak of bliss, freedom, awakening, and extraordinary states of consciousness. They describe deep stillness, our true nature, and a happiness that exists beyond circumstances. But after all these years, after meeting teachers, healers, gurus, seekers, therapists, and every kind of spiritual traveler, I find myself caring less and less about the “states” people claim to experience, and more and more about the lives they actually live. How do they treat the people closest to them? Can they admit when they’re wrong? Can they receive criticism without becoming defensive? Do they keep their word? Are they willing to look honestly at their own blind spots and shadows? Can they sustain real intimacy and vulnerability? How do they behave when life doesn’t go their way?” – Jeff Foster

13. Don’t’ leave before you go is a great affirmation for aging.

__________Thirteen Thursday